For the sake of this post, I would like to look at the idea of adaptation through an alternate lens.

The invitation here is to bring to mind that green on your property. You know the one. It's tucked back in a far corner of the course. The playing surface is surrounded by trees and thick underbrush. It only manages to glimpse the daily allotment of sunlight for a third as much as its siblings receive. It suffers far more maladies than the rest of the putting surfaces and the turf canopy thins out if you even look at it the wrong way. This green has always been the black sheep of the flock and it's just the way it is. 

Now think of the situation in terms of adaptation. On this green, the turf adapts to the lack of sunlight and air movement by doing what it can. Its fundamental physiology changes over time due the difficult conditions. Negative stress responses are far more common, and the symptoms experienced are far worse than other greens because internally the plants are simply not supported enough to be well. In the grand scheme of things, it just suffers more. 

Then, out of nowhere, there is a shift. . . . Choices appear where there once appeared to be no options. Your view perspective opens and the changes that are necessary to remedy the problems no longer seem so daunting.

As a turf manager, you also must adapt to this difficult growing environment. You adjust mowing heights, apply various products to stave off the inevitable next illness that is lurking around the corner, and continually adjust your cultural practices to keep the green alive during the worst of the season. You are convinced that there is not much else to be done, and these practices become normalized over time. 

Then, out of nowhere, there is a shift. You learn something in a seminar; there might be a visit from an agronomist or consulting architect; or it might even be as simple as a suggestion from another trusted superintendent that changes your thought process completely. Choices appear where there once appeared to be no options. Your view perspective opens and the changes that are necessary to remedy the problems no longer seem so daunting. 

After consulting with the greens committee, the process of removing trees and clearing the underbrush begins. You might address some underlying issues or even make some more dramatic alterations to improve drainage and functionality. And slowly, over time something magical happens — the green improves. The sunlight and air flow the green so sorely lacked are now plentiful. The disease pressure is reduced and all the extra cultural practices that were previously employed have become redundant. The turf seems, well, happier. Its resilience improves and the playability and quality are noticeably different. You stand back, look at the improvements, and think, "why did I wait so long to make these changes?"

If we can embrace this new, wider perspective, change naturally follows. We come to realize that no problem is insurmountable and given time, things can become clearer. 

Now let us flip the script a little bit. Recall something in your own life that for whatever reason has caused you internal difficulty. It might be a past trauma, an old physical injury or simply a pattern in your life that has always been a problem. It keeps popping up in your life and causing both you and those around you to suffer. And more importantly, you have adapted to this difficulty; so much so that it is hard to remember a time in your life where it was not present. 

Over the years, you might have tried all sorts of ways to remedy this issue. You might have sought out the help of a professional but never felt you got the answers you needed. You might have even employed alternate practices hoping that this one would be the change maker. Or even in more extreme situations, you might have turned to self-medicating to numb or escape the pain. 

But then, the shift occurs. You find the doctor or therapist that finally unlocks the root cause of the problem. You might receive an unexpected kindness from a trusted friend or family member that opens a door that you did not even know existed. Your perspective changes and suddenly where once there was confusion now there is clarity. The solutions to the problem are right in front of you and now things seem so simple. You step back, look at the shift in your life, and think to yourself, "why did it take so long?"

When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.
— Max Plank 

In life, as in greenkeeping, difficult issues resolve themselves when the time is right. There is an old adage that states "when the student is ready, the teacher will appear." It might seem simple when we finally take the steps to remedy the situation, but it is never the case. You had to go through the pain and suffering to get to the other side of it all.

Once you are beyond the suffering and difficulty, there is a common element that affects both greens and people — space. When you open up to an alternate path, space magically appears before us. What once seemed narrow and restricted is now flexible and spacious.

If we can embrace this new, wider perspective, change naturally follows. We come to realize that no problem is insurmountable and given time, things can become clearer.  

Thanks for reading.

As most of you who have read this blog before know, I am a curious and reflective person. For me this is fairly intentional, but like everything it ebbs and flows according to the space I make for it in my life. That said, I can usually set my watch for this time of year to be more reflective, as it is the only real vacation time I take each year. The break over the holiday season and the slow movement into a new year has me wavering between what was, what is, and what may be.

This past year has indeed been one for the ages for me personally. I shared with you back in April 2025 (A Tipping Point) that I had been diagnosed with epilepsy at the ripe age of 51. To say the year was difficult would be an understatement. There was an incredible amount of adjustment in so many areas of my life and a great deal of struggle as well. But there were also so many opportunities for learning and unlearning. There was much time for reflection and a lot of time to just sit with it all.

The break over the holiday season and the slow movement into a new year has me wavering between what was, what is, and what may be...

Here are some of the main things I took from my experience this past year.

Change
While change is inevitable, abrupt change that pulls the rug from under your feet and doesn’t let up is really hard. The tricky part with illness is that usually it’s not just the symptoms of the illness that one needs to adjust to, it’s also the medication/therapies/treatments designed to help that require a measure of adjustment. Most of my spring and early summer (read early turf season here) was taken up by a weekly/bi weekly adjustment to stronger doses of anti-seizure medication that left me in rough shape for days at a time. Without the support of my family and co-workers, I’m not really sure how I would have made it though (more on that later).

Acceptance
Back in April, I mentioned that accepting the fact that I have the disease was a key factor in beginning to move through the adjustment process. Since then, there have been so many other opportunities to flex my acceptance muscles. I had to accept that I simply couldn’t do all of the things that I wanted or, more importantly, felt like I had to do.

This meant saying 'no' a lot. And trust me… I have a long history of struggle with saying no. But in this situation I had no choice in the matter. If I plowed ahead and did things the old way, I paid a significant price in the subsequent days. This was in full effect with regard to my turf life. I have always been a Superintendent who showed up early and started the day with the crew. It was a big part of how I perceived myself as a turf manager. But the events of the past year prevented that; I simply couldn’t be there early because I desperately needed the extra rest and sleep. It was such an illuminating lesson in control, letting things go and allowing the season to play out. It’s not that I wasn’t involved, it’s just I wasn’t involved the way I was used to.  And that was hard, until it wasn’t.

The other element of acceptance that I have come to realize is that any type of healing (or any part of life really) isn’t a linear process. Some days you take a few steps forward, some days are sideways, some backwards and some are more neutral. And that’s all ok. Yes, I get frustrated by times, but taking the non linear perspective helps me to realize that it all ebbs and flows and nothing is permanent.

Some days you take a few steps forward, some days are sideways, some backwards and some are more neutral. And that’s all ok.

Appreciating the Smaller Things
Beyond the more major adjustments, there were also many things in the background that had a big impact on my normal routines. Of these things, two stood out more than the rest. The first was simply being active and moving my body. It was really hard to even go for a quiet walk in the woods by myself, let alone walk in a straight line on many days. As a historically active person, this adjustment was hard. As things got better, I very much appreciated reconnecting with physical activity.

The second one was not being able to drive. You don’t know how much you take something like driving for granted until you can’t. It is a real blow to your independence to have to learn to depend on others to get you places. It helps you realize how much of what you took for granted before actually was a privilege. The privilege of having a driving license and vehicles at your disposal is not something everyone has.  I learned to be ok with my radius of travel reducing dramatically, and also learned to appreciate the slower pace of things. One of the gifts that I received as a result of this difficulty was getting to be a passenger while in a vehicle. It’s a completely different experience and one that I learned to really enjoy.

Learning and Unlearning
After months of feeling like I was on the deck of a boat at sea, learning to stand still and upright became the focus of my rehabilitation. It sounds so simple, but it gave me the opportunity to tune into my patterns and shift how I inhabit my physical world. This practice also gave my internal navigation system a chance to heal and re-establish my internal compass.

As I mentioned earlier, physical movement (or lack thereof) was something that I was constantly playing with. As things began to settle down in terms of my medication adjustments, I began to pick my spots and move when I felt good. As someone who was used to going all out with exercise in the past, it felt like I was Bambi on ice most of the time. Through it all I began to embrace the idea of gentle movement. Things like Tai Chi, yoga and more nuanced breathing exercises became the norm. It was a welcome change to my usual, more intense approach. This style of movement also allowed my nervous system to heal and begin to regain healthier functioning.

Embracing the Pause
Along with my day job, I also had a lot of other things on the go to help keep a roof over our heads. Writing this blog, travelling to speak at conferences, teaching and consulting locally were all a big part of my daily life. A year ago all that came to a grinding halt and it was a really difficult transition... financially and personally. I kept reminding myself that it was all temporary, but in the back of your mind you sometimes have that voice that tells you, “Maybe this is how it is now.” I learned to sit with and make peace with that voice, but I’ll be honest, it shakes your confidence a bit. Leaning into letting go is a practice for the long haul and truly anyone can benefit from it.

Leaning into letting go is a practice for the long haul and truly anyone can benefit from it.

The pause also made me take stock of my priorities and realize that I can’t do everything. This has helped with the inevitable transition back to these activities. I’m happy to report that I had my second speaking engagement of the past year shortly before the holidays and it went really well. The first one was days after my diagnosis and I was still in full speed ahead mode in my own mind and fully in “push through” mode right down to having my kids drive me to that off island gig. There has been a lot of learning since last April; now I have a chance to make it stick going forward.  I have a few conference speaking gigs lined up over the next few months. I am cautiously excited about it all.

Limitless Gratitude
When you go through an experience like this, the feeling of gratitude tends to swell up quickly. My family, my friends and my closest coworkers have all been so incredibly supportive and loving through it all. Folks stepped up over and over again, whether it was to drive me somewhere, take on extra responsibility at work, or even sit quietly and let me share my troubles.

And last but not least I need to apply a heaping dose of gratitude and kindness to myself. Somehow (for better or for worse) I kept working through it all, save the very worst days. As the main breadwinner in the household my family needed my income to keep the home fires burning. Even though it was trying by times, getting to be at work helped my own mental well being. Having somewhere to be other than sitting at home ruminating about the situation, made things a little more bearable.

To be honest, as I think back on it all I am overwhelmed and a bit teary eyed. I am so grateful to have so many people in my life that I know I can lean on during difficult times. It fills my heart to no end.

A Special Acknowledgment
As I close this post off I want to take a moment to acknowledge and thank someone very special who is in the process of retiring from the world of turf. The founder of TurfNet and the maestro himself, Peter McCormick, is hanging up his spurs and transitioning to some well deserved personal time.

I am so grateful for Peter in so many ways, but most of all because he took a chance on me so many years ago. He gave me (someone with zero writing experience) a platform to explore and create the blog you are reading right now. This experience has given me so much insight into my own personal experience and the experiences of so many others. It set the stage for me to travel, speak and meet so many wonderful people over the past decade or so and also pushed me to places I never thought possible.

I sincerely wish Peter and his family nothing but peace, ease and joy as they move through this next chapter of their journey. The wider TurfNet family will definitely miss his presence. Certainly we are all richer for having his gifts to the turf community as part of our lives.

Thanks so much for reading and be well.

In the first post, Is it Time to Man Up or Open Up?, we looked at mental wellness from the male point of view. The second post of the series, Through a Different Lens: Female Perspectives on Mental Health and Well-Being in Turf, the focus shifted and asked some female industry folks to share their thoughts on this topic.

For the final installment in this series, we are examining the issue from the perspective of visible minorities within our industry. Much like our female participants, the experience of being a visible minority in a predominantly white/male industry can be daunting at times.

I am indebted to the kind and gracious participants who have shared their time and lived experiences for this, the final installment of the series. Jeremiah Mincey (Black Diamond Ranch), Tizayi Tundu (Country Club of New Canaan), Gustavo Rodriguez (The Links of North Dakota) and Brandon Bell, Organizational Dev./ Talent & Career Dev./ Inclusion & Culture at Syngenta.

As with the second installment of this series, my particular experience as a white male turf professional doesn’t lend itself to adding anything to the thoughts and experiences of the persons interviewed below. The following are their answers to the questions I posed and all shared in their own words. (Again, as with the last post, the answers compiled here are not attributed to any of the participants directly and all answers have been permitted to be shared for the purpose of this post.)

How has being a visible minority in the turf industry shaped your journey? (ex. Has there ever been incidents of dismissive or even racist behavior?)

"From the start, I have often been the only person of minority descent on my team or at industry events. While many colleagues have been welcoming, there have been moments when I’ve felt dismissed or overlooked, particularly in group discussions or decision-making. On a few occasions, I have encountered subtle forms of bias—such as assumptions about my expertise or background—that left me feeling undervalued. The most challenging incidents were not always overtly racist but came in the form of microaggressions: jokes about my accent, questioning my credentials, or being mistaken for someone in a lower position. These experiences have reinforced the importance of self-advocacy and resilience, even as they sometimes take an emotional toll."

On a few occasions, I have encountered subtle forms of bias—such as assumptions about my expertise or background—that left me feeling undervalued.

"At the beginning of my career, I believed that being a minority meant I would have to work twice as hard to earn respect and recognition. But over time, I realized that success in this industry—like in many others—comes down to showing up every day, putting in the work, and staying committed to growth. This mindset has carried me to where I am today. I’m grateful to say that I haven’t experienced racism from colleagues or club members throughout my journey. Instead, I’ve found that professionalism, dedication, and authenticity have allowed me to build strong relationships and earn the respect of those around me."

"In my experience, the majority of members and regular players I've interacted with have been respectful and supportive. However, I’ve noticed a recurring challenge when it comes to certain golfers who aren’t members or aren't closely tied to the club—occasional guests, public players, or visiting groups. Unfortunately, I’ve been met with racial prejudice more often than I’d like to admit, especially when carrying out basic responsibilities such as directing traffic in the parking lot or asking players not to drive carts through native areas. What’s particularly disheartening is that I’ve always approached these situations calmly and professionally—often with more patience and courtesy than I’ve seen extended by some of my Caucasian colleagues in similar scenarios. Yet the reactions I’ve received have, at times, reflected a clear lack of respect—not only for me personally, but for the staff and the property as a whole."

"When I first started working on the golf course back in 2017 I was one of two African Americans on the crew. At first, I was nervous. Being on a crew that was predominately white males, you never know what to expect or how people will respond to it. Luckily I was very fortunate to work with some phenomenal guys who made the experience very enjoyable. When I transitioned to a management position, that slight nervousness came back."

How does it feel to be at a conference or event and be the only visible minority in the crew? Is there by times a sense of isolation involved?

"Walking into a room knowing you're the only minority in the room can definitely be an overwhelming feeling. My first volunteer experience (Tour Championship) I was one of the only minorities in the room. There is a sense of isolation sometimes. Since being in the industry, nobody has ever made me feel unwelcome or that I do not belong. Even during my volunteer experience, nobody ever treats me as if I’m the only minority in the room. I am treated the same as everyone else which is a huge relief."

...nobody has ever made me feel unwelcome or that I do not belong.

"Attending industry events can be both energizing and isolating. Walking into a room where I am the only visible minority often brings a sense of being 'on display'. The pressure to represent not just myself but my entire community can be overwhelming. At times, the lack of diversity makes networking feel awkward, and I find myself holding back from fully engaging in conversations. To combat these feelings of isolation, I seek out allies—people who are genuinely interested in diversity and inclusion—and make a conscious effort to participate. Sometimes, just finding one friendly face or supportive colleague can make all the difference. I also remind myself that my presence is meaningful, even if it feels uncomfortable."

How has this journey impacted your mental well-being? How does it land today?

"My mental well-being has never been impacted by being a minority in this industry. Where I’ve faced real discouragement is in the lack of proper training and mentorship during my time as an intern, Assistant-in-Training, and even as an assistant. I’ve always been eager to learn and grow, but at times, I’ve struggled with patience—especially when I’ve been overlooked for superintendent roles due to what’s perceived as a "lack" of experience. It’s not a lack of dedication or potential, but rather a lack of opportunity to develop under strong leadership. These challenges have motivated me to keep pushing forward and to seek environments where growth, support, and development are taken seriously."

"The emotional landscape of this journey is complex. There have been periods of stress and self-doubt, especially when faced with exclusion or the need to constantly prove my worth. However, I have also experienced tremendous personal growth. Learning to navigate uncomfortable situations has strengthened my resilience and self-awareness. Currently, my mental well-being is a work in progress; I am more attuned to my own needs and boundaries, and I actively seek out resources and support networks that help me stay grounded."

Learning to navigate uncomfortable situations has strengthened my resilience and self-awareness.

Has being a visible minority in a mostly white/male industry pushed you to prove yourself more, only to find that pushing so hard had a negative effect on your well being?

"This journey has been a great one. But I have put a huge pressure on myself to be the best. I would be lying if I said that the pressure didn’t affect me negatively especially when things aren’t going the way I planned. I find myself going the extra mile and doing more just so I don't experience being behind or failure. I see it as I am working so hard so that I can inspire other minorities to join this industry. When I went through being fired last year, that took a toll on me mentally. I figured that I wasn't good enough and especially being a minority that blemish would affect me more than my white counterparts."

"Being a 'minority' in this industry has never negatively impacted my well-being. What has affected my mental well-being, however, is my own competitive nature. I hold myself to very high standards—I work hard, I strive to be the best, and I take pride in giving my absolute best every day. But with that mindset comes an internal pressure that can be overwhelming at times. When I don’t meet my own expectations, I sometimes fall into the trap of feeling like I’m not good enough, even when that’s far from the truth. It's a constant balancing act between ambition and self-compassion—something I'm continuing to work on as I grow both personally and professionally."

It's a constant balancing act between ambition and self-compassion...

"The pressure to prove myself has at times been intense. I acknowledge that I need to work twice as hard to gain the same recognition as my peers. This drive can be motivating but also exhausting, leading to moments of burnout and anxiety. I’ve learned that striving for excellence is important but so is giving myself grace and acknowledging my achievements. Finding the balance between ambition and self-care remains a daily challenge."

How has your journey affected your approach to everyday life and your own well-being?

"My journey has mirrored the way I approach everyday life—with determination, discipline, and faith. I’ve never expected anything to come easy, and I’ve learned that hard work and consistency are the foundation of any real success. Through every challenge and achievement, I’ve trusted God to guide me, knowing that each step-- no matter how difficult—has a purpose. This mindset has shaped not only my work ethic but also my character, helping me stay grounded, focused, and resilient in the face of adversity."

"My experiences have shaped not only my professional identity but also my personal life. I am more empathetic, patient, and open-minded as a result of the obstacles I’ve faced. The discipline and problem-solving skills I’ve developed on the job translate into my relationships and interactions outside of work. Most importantly, I’ve come to prioritize my well-being—physically, emotionally, and mentally—by setting boundaries and making time for rest and reflection."

I’ve come to prioritize my well-being—physically, emotionally, and mentally—by setting boundaries and making time for rest and reflection.

What are some of the key tools you employ each day to help with your overall well-being?

"To maintain my well-being, I rely on several daily practices. Mindfulness and meditation help me manage stress and remain present. I make it a point to connect with supportive friends and family, even if just for a quick check-in. Physical activity, whether working out or simply walking the course, keeps me grounded. Journaling allows me to process my experiences and track my progress."

"Patience is the number one. I can be very impatient at times but recently I have learned to slow down and actually breathe and not be in such a rush. I'm working more on enjoying my career journey instead of only focusing on my future."

"For me, maintaining balance and peace in life comes through prayer, attending church with my wife, and cherishing time with her and our children. Those moments ground me, give me perspective, and remind me of what truly matters. Faith and family are the foundation of my strength, and they continue to guide and motivate me both personally and professionally."

Who are some of the key people/mentors that have helped shape your journey thus far and given you the support you needed to keep going?

"Mike O’Keefe of the Ohio University, Pat O’Brien, Superintendent at Hyde Park Golf & Country Club, Brandon, Director of Agronomy at Lake Nona Golf & Country Club, Patrick Reinhardt at the GSU Course, Lukus Harvey, Director of Agronomy at Atlanta Athletic Club, Zach Morris, Emily Casey, Noah Emert, Douglas Gearhart, Whit DeVaux, Matt Castanga, Josh Bussing, Anne Streich, Jared Reinke, Andy Rhylander, Rene Castro, Rafael Barajas."

Any parting thoughts?

"In my experience, this industry is more accepting than many people might assume. That’s just my perspective, of course—but I’ve found that the turfgrass community, as a whole, is full of professionals who are willing to support one another, share knowledge, and build lasting connections. Of course, like any industry, there are individuals who don’t always reflect those values—but they are the exception, not the rule."

In my experience, this industry is more accepting than many people might assume...

"If I could give any advice it would be this: surround yourself with people who share your values, your work ethic and your goals. Find those who want to grow and help others grow. This industry is built on those kinds of relationships. While it’s true that it has long been white-male dominated, that doesn’t define its potential. There is so much good here—so much pride in the craft, dedication to excellence, and a genuine willingness to help one another. It’s a great industry... My experience with non-member golfers, like regular players and guests, and how I’ve been treated over the years, is a story for another time."

"Reflecting on my journey, I am struck by the need for greater representation and inclusion in the turf industry. I often wonder how the industry can better support minorities—not just through hiring but by fostering environments where everyone feels seen and valued. What initiatives could help bridge the gap? How can leaders create more pathways for diverse talent? I encourage my peers to ask themselves these questions and to reach out to those who may feel isolated. Sharing our stories is a powerful step toward change."

Following the initial set of interviews with Jeremiah, Tizayi and Gustavo, I was very fortunate to make contact with Brandon Bell from Syngenta. Brandon works within our industry to promote inclusion and culture, traveling extensively to share the message. During our conversation, Brandon reflected on where we find ourselves at the present moment in our industry:

“All we have is the present and historical experience to draw from. We are currently moving through and within a transformational time for the turf industry. The key element as we move forward is self-awareness. It’s the foundational idea that allows us to view it all through multiple lenses and form more of a composite view of the industry as a whole.”

He spoke to the power of culture, both in its ability to create and shape a wider sense of openness within our industry and but also in its power to constrain us. 

“When culture is about community and interconnection, it has the power to move beyond old patterns.”

As we conclude this series, I find myself reflecting on Brandon’s idea of using the power self-reflection and an open, flexible culture to move beyond old patterns:

When we expand our perspective and embrace the idea of interconnection, our entire approach shifts.

By actively fostering a deeper connection to our own patterns and blind spots, we begin to see how truly similar all of us in this industry actually are.  Self awareness holds the key to creating a culture of positive change through safe and inclusive community building and interconnection.

By actively fostering a deeper connection to our own patterns and blind spots, we begin to see how truly similar all of us in this industry actually are.

When we are open to this idea, we can choose to seek out those people within our industry who feel they are “on the outside” and offer them a compassionate presence. These simple acts of kindness can have more impact on creating a new, industry wide culture of inclusion and understanding than any marketing campaign ever could. 

Within the current political climate and sense of division in the world right now, this sense of kindness is more vital than ever. When those in our industry have family, friends or members of their cultural community who may fear for their livelihoods and safety, it’s a radical act to listen and approach every situation with courage. This strength in turn comes from compassion for self and others and helps us to recognize our shared humanity.

As I compiled the reflections and comments from all the participants, I was so incredibly grateful for their vulnerability and willingness to share. It forced me personally into some uncomfortable places and insisted that I re-examine old assumptions and viewpoints.  It reminded me that I can rest in the sense of not knowing another’s experience, but always be willing to seek out deeper understanding.

Working our way through the season we can get so bogged down with our own issues and problems that it can be difficult to see beyond our own properties. This sense of isolation can be powerful, but melts away quickly when we open up and share with others who understand our plight. It can be more powerful still when we take the time to reach out and simply listen to those who need help. Whether it’s because of mental health struggles, feeling dispossessed, or just plain exhausted with it all, a listening presence can change a life in ways we simply cannot comprehend.

Thanks so much for reading.

When I wrote that piece I felt that I had at least a modicum of experience to fall back on. Being a man and speaking with other male superintendents in this industry for roughly 25 years has given me a solid foundation for my perspective. 

This time I cannot say the same.  For this post we will shift our gaze and focus on the female experience of well-being within the turf world through the first hand lens of women in our industry.

Beyond this preamble you will find that this post is entirely shaped by the wisdom and experiences of a select few kind and giving individuals. They have taken time out of their busy lives to share their insights and perspectives on what it’s like to be a woman in the turf industry. More to the point of this blog post, they also share their perspectives on what it means to be a female in our industry tending to mental health and well-being.  

...this post is entirely shaped by the wisdom and experiences of a select few kind and giving individuals.

So before we proceed, I wanted to first offer my sincere thanks and gratitude to the following five women: Emily Casey (Bernhard & Company), Hannah Isinghood (St, Andrews Link Trust), Kendra Kiss (BASF Turf Canada), Adrienne Meadows (TPC San Antonio), and last but certainly not least, Miranda Robinson (TurfRad & TurfNet). 

The initial post in this series arose after I watched and was moved by a new Netflix series called Adolescence. It is a dramatic series that deals with the aftermath of the tragic murder of a young teenage girl and is a revealing look at what it means to be a man in our modern world. Though the series deals mainly with the male perspective they did not omit the female experience entirely. I reference it here again because the series highlighted themes like misogyny, sexual assault, gender violence and social media bullying as part and parcel of the female world experience under patriarchy. The women in this series’ perspectives were often overlooked and dismissed, leaving the viewer with a glimpse into some of the difficulties and struggles women all over the world face in their daily living within male focused and designed systems. 

In the feedback gathered from our participants, parallels with the aforementioned series were plain to see. They spoke of dealing with many of the same difficult themes as they made their way into and became part of the turf industry. It became evident that the struggle of being female in a male dominated industry adds unnecessary complexity and suffering on top of an already difficult career. These stories were at times difficult to hear, but at the same time incredibly inspirational and important, both. 

The following are their words in answer to questions offered as starting points for the participants to share from. (All of the questions I sent out by email and were discussed in a zoom call. All responses below are unedited and anonymous.)

How has being female in a male dominated industry shaped your journey? (ex. Have you run up against sexism, macho behavior, dismissive or even inappropriate behavior?) 

“I’ve had interactions that have stuck with me—like when our former spray tech told the crew and a few members that I only had my position because I was sleeping with the superintendent. It was, of course, completely untrue, but it was hurtful and frustrating to have my abilities dismissed in that way.”

...it was hurtful and frustrating to have my abilities dismissed in that way.”

“My experience in a male-dominated industry has included several challenging situations. I have encountered inappropriate behavior, including the use of foul language and sexist jokes.  At times, I have felt objectified, including an incident where I was inappropriately touched at an industry event.”

“Often, I feel like a guest in my own home, knowing my place. I have been sexually assaulted on the job twice, even after reporting incidents to management. This has made me hyper-aware of my safety, so I dress fully covered even in extreme summer heat, never get out of my cart in the dark, and keep conversations with men brief to avoid misunderstandings.”

Have you run up against simple things like the shop not being very accommodating to females?

“I rarely receive a uniform in a women’s cut (I’ve worn trousers and a uniform shirt cut for a man’s body for the past 2 years, and there are differences that affect how the clothes fit and thus how they feel to wear, for those that don’t think it’s ‘that big of a deal.’)”

“...It does not feel good to show up to work wearing a shirt that is way too big. Humans come in all shapes and sizes and the important thing is that they feel professional, confident, and comfortable in their uniform and that will absolutely be represented in their work.” 

Golfer Issues

“Visiting golfers can sometimes be rude, and I’ve had more than a few make off-the-cuff remarks. Often, they assume I’m the beverage cart attendant, and when they learn I’m not, they can be dismissive—or even outright unkind.”

“Golfers have mistaken me for a cart girl, then shown disappointment or even disgust upon learning I was a maintenance worker.”

How has this journey impacted your mental well-being? How does it land today? 

“This job can be incredibly draining—mentally and physically. It can feel isolating, and there have been times I’ve wondered if I’m doing something wrong. Social media only shows the highlight reel—I’m guilty of it too. We don’t see the tears, the self-doubt, or the moments of frustration. We don’t talk enough about how this career can strain our relationships outside of work, or the mental toll it can quietly take over time.”

Social media only shows the highlight reel—I’m guilty of it too. We don’t see the tears, the self-doubt, or the moments of frustration.

“As someone who experiences moderate anxiety regularly, I have found that being one of one or one of a few females in a workspace can add to this anxiety. I am also acutely aware of how I present myself in the workplace and on any job as a female.”

“I have faced dismissive behavior, where my opinions seemed to hold little value, leading to reluctance in voicing concerns when I recognized potential issues. Reflecting on my early career, mental health was not a topic of discussion. I was raised in an environment that emphasized hard work and perseverance as the keys to advancement. Despite my efforts, I often observed male colleagues progressing more rapidly than I was. It was disheartening to see them fail upward while I was repeatedly passed over for promotions, which negatively impacted my sense of self-worth.”

“As a woman, anything can be seen as a reason not to promote. Before I was educated, I was told I needed more schooling. Now, with nearly three turf-related degrees, a GCSAA assistant certification, a pesticide license, and leadership training, I am told that experience matters more. The last time I interviewed, I was told I was “not a good fit.” These experiences have made me defensive when my qualifications are dismissed, which still happens often.”

“I would be lying if I said that this did not have an effect on my mental health at points. Although it did not affect me enough to want to leave the profession, it certainly made it hard to walk through the door sometimes.” 

Has being a woman in a male industry pushed you to prove yourself more only to have that push negatively affect your well-being? 

“I have found that I have developed a pattern of pushing myself to the point of overworking in order to prove that I can do the job as effectively and efficiently as anyone else; working longer hours, working above expectations on everything.”

“The constant pressure to prove oneself repeatedly can be incredibly draining. Women often face greater scrutiny than their male counterparts. Reflecting on this question has made me realize how even small interactions contributed to my struggles with addiction. Feeling isolated, without support, and unsure of where to turn can lead one down a difficult path.”

“This career has consumed me, but in a positive way. As a former addict, I channel my obsessive energy into my goals. I work to support my kids and am also pursuing a bachelor’s degree.” 

How has your journey affected your approach to everyday life and your own well-being?

“Today, I’m more aware of those challenges and I work harder to set boundaries, take care of myself, and remind myself that my worth isn’t defined by perfection. It’s still a balancing act, but I’m learning to navigate it with more grace and self-compassion.” 

I work harder to set boundaries, take care of myself, and remind myself that my worth isn’t defined by perfection.

“I absolutely love what I do, but I am also well aware that work isn’t and shouldn’t be everything. I was encouraged to take on different activities and hobbies as a kid, and I continue strive to ensure that my life is well rounded with variety and my sense of self worth is not tied to my work.” 

“While I believe my experiences have contributed to my strength in reaching my current position, I feel I could have achieved my rank without some of the challenges I faced. I have adopted an "I can do it on my own" attitude, stemming from a belief that I needed to prove myself to my supervisors in order to learn new skills. This mindset has impacted my self-esteem and self-confidence, leading me to second-guess myself frequently and struggle with making firm decisions.”

“I am grateful for the experience because I do approach life differently now. Not so long ago it was considered blasphemy for a woman to speak up to a man. I hear from my mother and grandmothers about how proud they are that I am confident in my profession. They were not even allowed to own a business, heck not even allowed to wear pants to school. I feel confident, I know I have used that word a bunch but it really is the main theme. This whole journey has left me confident. When you get to look at the world through confident eyes you really get a much different experience.”

What are some of the key tools you employ each day to help with your overall well-being?

“My non-negotiable is going to the gym. It’s the one part of my day that belongs entirely to me—a space where I can focus solely on myself. No responsibilities, no conversations, no over-thinking—just me and the weights. I also try to journal whenever I can. I’m not as consistent as I’d like to be, but putting my thoughts on paper helps me clear my mind and unwind before bed.”

“Ensuring that I am getting enough sleep is key for me, but it can be tough in the height of summer when there is lots of daylight when I am trying to get to sleep.  I try to take some time in the evenings to do something that fills my bucket – playing guitar, catching up with a friend, putting on my favourite show or going outside for some birding.”

“I also utilize a journal to decompress, committing thoughts to paper is something that helps me but may not be for everyone. This activity has also been a great tool for reflection; to look back and see where and how far I’ve come along my winding path.” 

“Every day, I remind myself of my worth and recognize that my unique experiences contribute to my value. I focus on positive self-talk and actively work to prevent negative thought spirals. Taking the time to pause and breathe helps me understand that people are often more concerned with their own challenges than with me.”

Every day, I remind myself of my worth and recognize that my unique experiences contribute to my value.

“Every morning, I find a spot on the course to stretch, breathe, and watch the sunrise. Nature teaches me acceptance and resilience. I read spiritual literature to keep my mind centered and work on speaking well of others. Talking to my kids keeps me grounded.”

“This may sound silly but to give myself some time to exist without expectations for the time, without the burden of the never-ending lists of things we need to do. I sometimes sit by a tree, or sit by the water, or sit watching a television show without feeling "bad" for not using that time to be "productive." It is very freeing.”

Who are some of the key people/mentors that have helped shape your journey thus far and given you the support your needed to keep going?

“I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the wonderful networks of Women in Turf that I am part of, stemming largely from connections I have made being a mentee in the Women in Turfgrass Mentorship Program and all the opportunities that I have been offered since I joined. Sometimes the best remedy for a tough day is to get in touch with another gal in the industry and share that experience.  

Morgan Creighton’s mentorship program and pushed me to take tournament volunteering opportunities to develop a network of women that I rely on regularly today. There are challenges to being a female in this industry, but incredible opportunities as well, and I am thankful to have a support network that has supported and pushed me to seize every opportunity.”

*There have also been more programs developed over the past few years that are helping bring women together and expand their network of supportive women. The GCSAA is moving to year three of the Women’s Leadership Academy (Nov. 11-13, held at the GCSAA Headquarters in Lawrence, Kansas)

Since 2021 there has also been the “Women in Turf” program developed by the USGA to bring together a group of roughly 30 female volunteers to assist with the preparation of the venues for the Women’s US Open Championships.) 

Thanks again to these amazing women for sharing their experiences for the betterment of our industry and thanks for reading.

The women who participated would also like to thank the following people who have impacted their careers in a positive way:
Andy Huber (Superintendent at Seven Canyons GC), Rob Kobzar, Tony Duh, Leam Grendahl, and Doug Dorey (Valley Ridge Golf Club in Calgary), Ian Morrow (Olds College), the late Pat McTeer (Bootleg Gap), James Bebee (Priddis Greens), Dave Wilber, Carey Bradley, Andy Park, Ken Kenzie, Todd Olsen, Jeff Babish, John Faber (The City of Calgary), Darryl James, Ron Biggs, Richard Heffering, Chris Langley (EM at TPC Sawgrass), Jeremiah Mincey (Black Diamond Ranch)

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health issues, here are a few resources:

• Canadian Mental Health Association
• The National Institute for Mental Health
• NHS Mental Health

Back in the midst of the pandemic, there were many studies and articles about the state of mental health amongst greenkeepers, course managers and superintendents. As we adjusted post- pandemic, this issue once again slid into the background. If you think that we fixed it and it’s gone away, you would be woefully mistaken.

If you think that we fixed it and it’s gone away, you would be woefully mistaken...

As I was reflecting on this piece, I had the opportunity to watch the Netflix limited series Adolescence (Stephen Graham Interview) . This show explores the nuances of masculinity in today’s world. It was done through the lens of the story of a tragic murder by a youth in a small suburb of the UK.  The drama uses the tragedy to delve into the themes of violence, misogyny, bullying, isolation, inter-generational trauma and shines a light on how men deal with this subject matter. The show itself was raw and stark. It revealed how ones’ concept of male identity can become a devastating weapon when manifested both internally and externally.

The series affected me in a dramatic way. The production value of the piece was completely different than a usual TV show. Each episode was shot continuously in one take (like a play) and that drew the viewer in and made the emotional themes far more powerful. It forced me to look in the mirror and really look at my own relationship with what it means to be a man in today’s world. The last episode touched me deeply both as a father and as someone who has dealt with a traumatic family event. Tears were flowing freely upon its conclusion. 

Our industry has indeed made some small strides in the area of mental health. Some of our turfgrass partners have made it part of their marketing campaigns in recent years thereby helping to elevate the importance of mental wellness as part of overall well being, and this is a very good thing. Personally, I have seen it first hand with feedback from my own writing, speaking and social media posts. There are many men who have reached out to me thanking me for bringing the importance of mental well being into the open. Many spoke about how opening up the conversation surrounding mental health gave them permission to get the help they need. But for every one story like this, I know full well that there are still many who suffer in silence. It needn’t be this way.

How can we raise the bar and take the necessary steps to open the conversation up even more? How can we once again turn the spotlight on mental health and help men get the help they need?

Here are a few ideas:

Re-open the Conversation
One of the single biggest assets we have within our industry is our ability to pick up the phone and call someone for agronomy support… but we also have to remember to reach out to others when we are struggling with our mental well being. Sharing our difficulties with someone who is trustworthy can begin to alleviate the stress of a situation almost immediately. This can be a particularly difficult concept for men, who oftentimes default to silence and keep things bottled up (present company included). The relief and weight that is removed by sharing your difficulties with someone who fully understands your plight is powerful medicine.

Vulnerability
Following on the heels of the first point, practicing the vulnerability required to open up about personal difficulties is easier said than done. When men take the opportunity to reach out for care and support it can show others that the willingness to be vulnerable can be a powerful practice with significant mental and physical health benefits. Admitting that we don’t always know the answer, that we are worn out, or that we are not ok mentally are key factors in changing things for the better. Focusing on our emotional intelligence and allowing ourselves to open up, even a little, can shift the narrative in powerfully beneficial ways. 

Sharing our difficulties with someone who is trustworthy can begin to alleviate the stress of a situation almost immediately...

Inter-generational Wounds
People oftentimes have a complex relationship with how they were brought up and men are no exception to this. Unfortunately, some men have had a particularly difficult past, checkered with abuse and pain. Others can claim that their upbringing was relatively benign, but if we look a little deeper, we can often see that there were difficulties that influenced the development of unskilled coping mechanisms. Even just mimicking our parents’ coping mechanism of choice can be enough to cause unskillful inter-generational patterns to continue. This is not meant to demonize our parents or ourselves or disrespect their or our parental abilities. After all, most were doing the best they could with what they were given by their parents in the context of the culture they were raised in.  And so on. Practicing inner friendliness and forgiveness can help so much at this stage.

When we look at the culturally held notions of what it means to be a man, we can oftentimes see where our current viewpoints originated from. If we are being honest, many of these patterns of behavior that follow from that were designed to take power away from women. When we hold these patterns up to the light, we can begin to honestly ask ourselves if we want to continue living this way. The greatest gift we can give our children and loved ones is to interrupt and shift harmful inter-generational patterns, replacing them with increased awareness and caring to ourselves and others. This too is powerful medicine.

Perceived Weakness
Unfortunately there are still many men who feel that opening up and sharing mental health difficulties is somehow weak or a personality defect. Men have been taught to largely ignore their emotions, put their heads down and keep grinding. This mentality only serves as fuel for the difficulties and leads to worse mental and physical outcomes down the road. 

Nothing about suffering with mental health problems is rooted in weakness. Bearing the burden of mental health issues in silence takes a tremendous amount of courage and resilience. Showing up each day shouldering this backpack full of pain is no easy task. Some of the strongest people I know have lived the majority of their lives suffering tremendously with mental health difficulties.

It’s also not weak when one finally finds a deeper strength within themselves or through the caring concern of a loved one or workmate to admit they could benefit from support and seek out help. Walking through the door of a clinic or therapists office can be one of the single most courageous acts any human can perform. So let’s dispel this myth of weakness. Let’s make it safe for men (and all folks) to seek out help when it is needed and let’s all let go of this worn out trope.

In an industry dominated by men, it can be difficult to begin conversations surrounding mental well being. It’s only from a sense of fear and ignorance that others ridicule and demean those who choose to speak out and support those in need. 

It’s only from a sense of fear and ignorance that others ridicule and demean those who choose to speak out and support those in need...

It’s time for a shift in the narrative. It’s time for us to stop “manning up” and instead begin to open up. 

If we are going to move this industry to a healthier more sustainable place, we need to address this issue head on. Allowing it to slink back into the shadows only allows it to fester and old and unhelpful stories to grow stronger. What we resist persists. When something is bothering us or we are simply worn out by our lives the common response, (instead of embracing vulnerability), is to try hard to pretend it’s nothing, telling everyone that, “I’m fine.” 

Let me tell you from years of pretending, it’s a losing proposition.

As we move into the home stretch of the toughest part of the summer, let’s commit to taking some extra time to focus on our own well being.

Below I have attached links to some of the articles I mentioned in the beginning of this piece. Please take the time to give them a look. Thanks to all those who took the time to shine a light on this issue, in particular his “bearness”, Mr. Dave Wilber and the newest member of Team TurfNet, Miranda “Moe” Robinson.

• Golf Digest - The Growing and Surprising Mental Health Challenge Facing Golf Superintendents
• Dave Wilber - So How Are You Doing
• Australian Golf Digest - The Crisis Facing Australian Golf
• Golf Monthly - Greenkeeper Mental Health

Thanks for reading and take good care.

The basic premise of the book is centered on the fact that our fear of what others think of us is based on a very primitive part of our ancestral make up.  Basically if you got kicked out of the tribe back in the day, it was a death sentence. Fast forward to modern day and this ancient fear usually shows up in our desperate need to belong. It can permeate every facet of our existence, from what we choose to wear in the morning to having an intense fear of public speaking. This primal fear keeps us chained to outside opinions and holds us back from reaching our true potential. 

Luckily, as Gervais maps out in the book, there is an antidote to FOPO (Fear of Other’s Opinions). It starts and ends with self awareness and mindfulness. If we can acknowledge that it exists, then we can begin to shift our thoughts and approach to other’s opinions. We then realize that we have zero control over what others think. Ironically he highlights the “spotlight effect” where most people are actually so caught up in what others think of them, they simply have no time to think of you. The final tool Gervais focuses on is getting clear about your personal philosophy. When you have a strong foundational sense of your own values and philosophy, then the opinions of others simply fade into the background. 

...there is an antidote to FOPO (Fear of Other’s Opinions). It starts and ends with self awareness and mindfulness.

As I was reflecting on the content of this work, I could easily see the effects of FOPO in my own life. From an early age I discerned that in order to please others, I needed to compete and work insanely hard. While this served me well in some situations, it also instilled an erroneous, but intense feeling that I was never enough. This feeling pushed me far past a healthy lifestyle on many occasions and many times filled my world with needless stress and anxiety. 

I also was thinking about how this phenomenon shows up in our turf world. I’ve distilled down into three main categories.

 1. The Grind

As I mentioned previously, this basic fear of FOPO can push us to extremes when it comes to our work habits. Our society glorifies competition and the incessant need to grind ourselves to dust in an almost religious approach to work.  We can trick ourselves into working far too much because we believe we will be judged harshly by society if we don’t.

I see this a lot in the videos and articles that highlight turf teams lead up to major golf events (which are great by the way, I am in no way casting judgement on these necessary forms of media or the astounding efforts of these teams). The common refrain in the commentary is that these agronomy teams are constantly pushing for improvement, not just for the event, but every single day. The phrase, “we want to get better every day” is repeated again and again. Now there is nothing wrong with improvement, heck if we didn’t strive to get better then nothing would ever happen. 

We can trick ourselves into working far too much because we believe we will be judged harshly by society if we don’t.

But how many things in this world constantly push and strive to get better every day? Does a tree tell itself as its leaves appear in the spring that this season has to be better than the last? Does a child challenge themselves to “play better” than they did yesterday? Does your favorite sports team continuously improve and win every year or the stock market always go up in value? 

Obviously the answers to the above questions is no. As in nature, our lives are full of strides forward, sideways and backwards. We gain, we lose, and hopefully we learn from it. We look inside ourselves and subtract what is not necessary over time. It takes all kinds of experiences to make up a full and rich life. 

Now again I am not advocating for the status quo and not looking for ways that teams can improve and grow. All I am saying is that when we get lost in the constant need to push and grind, we can lose a small part of ourselves. 

2. The Comparison Creep

The notion that we would compare our course and its conditions to other courses in our area is nothing new. We have all been victims of the “Augusta Effect” and it’s most likely pushed us to do things that we wouldn’t have otherwise done. This phenomenon has only worsened in the age of social media. Every day we see glossy pictures of courses around the world and stories about the latest renovation in what is akin to an arms race of sorts lately. 

We have all been victims of the “Augusta Effect” and it’s most likely pushed us to do things that we wouldn’t have otherwise done.

But how does that affect our internal identity as not only a golf property, but also as a Superintendent/Course Manager? Does it leave us feeling like we are always coming up short and are lesser than? Does it push us to take on more than we can reasonably handle and compromise our well being and that of our teams? 

Again, there is nothing wrong with learning from others and using that knowledge on your own property to improve your processes or the quality of the golf experience for your members. But we need to be careful that we are not caught in that state of “never being enough” and pushing ourselves far beyond our limits. 

3. Expectations

Now I have spoken to the dangers and pitfalls of both internal and external expectations for years within the content of this blog (Great Expectation - Intentions, No Expectations, Kinder Expectations). So much so that you may be tired of hearing about it. But at a fundamental level, succumbing to unrealistic expectations is FOPO in action. When we are chained to the ridiculous expectations of members and management/ownership, we push ourselves in ways that can become unhealthy. We also internalize expectations and use them as fuel for internal judgement. 

An unhealthy relationship to expectations can also lead up down the slippery slope to the dreaded “P Word”: perfection. Nothing is ever perfect in this world, it just is. It’s only when we impose our fear and internal notion of insufficiencies that things get messy. It leaves us striving for unattainable goals and constantly operating from a state of inadequacy. 

An unhealthy relationship to expectations can also lead up down the slippery slope to the dreaded “P Word”: perfection.

I would steer you to read a great article by my good friend Chris Tritabaugh, Why I Strive for Excellence Rather Than Perfection. There is nothing wrong with wanting to improve; it just has to be in proportion to reality. 

So it might be interesting for you to reflect on both your operation and personal life to evaluate whether FOPO has a foothold. As you deepen your sense of self awareness, you might see areas in your life that may be chained to the opinions and judgement of others. When you can observe and then take action to free yourself from the whims and imaginary perspectives of the rest of the world, you might just find that life is a little easier. 

Thanks for reading.

It’s said that our ability to respond with grace and wisdom in such moments is the variable that separates the good supers from the truly great ones. It’s the thing that allows our teams to trust that they are part of something bigger than themselves. Over the course of a career honing the ability to respond instead of reacting irrationally allows us to create a career that matters. 

Outside the ropes of the golf courses we manage, we have our lives as plain, old human beings. We can plan, we can exercise, and we can eat well and meditate and we can try to reduce our stress and get enough sleep... and still difficulties arise. In the immortal words of wrestler Hulk Hogan, we can even say our prayers and eat our vitamins… but life still offers no guarantees.

We can plan, we can exercise, and we can eat well and meditate and we can try to reduce our stress and get enough sleep... and still difficulties arise.

What happens when we run into the inevitable, major disruptions that accompany this life? How do we choose to respond to loss, grief, or illness? Do we react irrationally or are we able to step back and take a larger view of the situation? How we respond to major disruptions has a large impact on how much we suffer overall. The question is do we react and add to the suffering? Or do we employ mindfulness and respond with a broader perspective? 

Over the last few months, my life has taken one such turn. Back in mid-December of 2024, I took a seizure. It wasn’t a new phenomenon for me (I have had them in various forms a few times over the past 30 years), but unfortunately I was never  properly diagnosed with epilepsy until recently and therefore my illness wasn’t managed very well by some of my doctors. To say that the return of new and former types of seizure activity has been a major disruption in my life and that of my family would be an understatement.

I would like to share some of the things that I have noticed and thought about over the past number of months:

• Having epilepsy sucks. I won’t sugar coat it. Making your way through the day wondering if you are going to have a seizure is not much fun. But over time I have learned to better listen to my body and its cues for rest.
   
• While it’s been crappy a lot of the time, it has also been vitally important to be mindful of the times that I feel good. This awareness has allowed me to tune into the symptoms in a deeper way and it also shows me that nothing is permanent. This moment to moment awareness is incredibly important with chronic illness because our minds can make the suffering static and relentless if we aren’t careful... when in truth there are times of less suffering and times of more. This also helps us navigate the negativity bias built into our brains. If we are mindful and can see breaks in our suffering then we can train ourselves to give some extra weight to the good, rather than just being velcro for the hardships.
   
• My life has slowed to a crawl. For someone who is used to having a great deal of energy to devote to my work life, this has been difficult. My creative spark and drive to do things has all but evaporated. It’s been a big adjustment. But I also know that it’s all temporary. It is a moment that too shall pass and I will adjust to my new seizure medications and emerge with a new perspective on life… and that’s just fine.
   
• I have fully embraced that power of rest. Admittedly, I haven’t had a great relationship with rest during my life, but in this case I really didn’t have much choice. It has been literally foisted upon me. Learning to continue breathing during the times when I am less able to show up for my life has been a major adjustment. It’s been a wonderful lesson in learning to “let go” and it’s given my body and mind the necessary space for healing.

  It’s been a wonderful lesson in learning to “let go” and it’s given my body and mind the necessary space for healing.

• I have paused long enough to take a look at my life outside of the workplace and realize that I am indeed loved. This may not sound like much, but it’s something that many of us humans who have been devoted to our “hustle and grind” culture rarely do. The love and support I have received from my family and friends have been overwhelming. The outpouring of support has left me fully appreciating how blessed I am, and it has also allowed me to more deeply recognize and extend empathy and compassion to all those going through illness without such support systems.
   
• Reflection. As I mentioned earlier, I’ve had lots of time for rest and reflection over the past few months. This in and of itself has been a blessing. I have endeavoured to channel my quiet time into meditation and inner work and it has proven to be very fruitful. I have reached levels of inner honesty that I wouldn’t have been able to access without this pause. (But full disclosure, I have also watched a great deal of Netflix).
   
• Major disruptions in life have a way of stripping us down to the bare metal. Illness is particularly adept at tearing away the armouring and all the masks we wear on a daily basis. The inner vulnerability can be overwhelming by times. If you are someone who is used to keeping stuff inside and not sharing emotions well (read between the lines here) this vulnerability can feel very uncomfortable. But while it’s definitely been trying by times, I have instead chosen to work with this vulnerability in a more honest and welcoming way than I ever have before in my years of mindfulness practice. And — spoiler alert — it truly makes everything easier.

  Illness is particularly adept at tearing away the armouring and all the masks we wear on a daily basis.

• Early on in this journey I made a decision. I made a conscious internal decision to the best of my current ability to accept and allow what was happening instead of fighting it. I know that in many cases people who face illness chose to adopt the stance of a warrior, and subsequently choose to “battle” their disease. I offer no judgement in that regard and I’m sure that in many cases the warrior mentality has given people the courage and strength to persevere.  But I am choosing an alternate path. I am choosing to accept and learn as much as I can from the condition. When our bodies are in a state of “dis-ease” there is knowledge to be gained… wisdom that will inform how I live my life on many levels as I move forward. It’s not to say that I am simply rolling over and taking what comes, instead I am simply choosing the path of non resistance. And it’s by choosing to take this path that I am attempting to better allow myself to be with what happens instead of denying it or pushing it away.  Curiosity helps tremendously with this as well.
   
• And finally I am choosing to not take this all too personally. So much suffering can arise from the simple question…”why me?” It’s really none of my business. While it’s something that I can influence via lifestyle choices, ultimately I don’t have much control over the why and how I ended up with epilepsy and I’m ok with that. It’s something that will hopefully be managed with medication and how I choose to live my life, but it will always be with me.  I cannot control the storms that may arise, but I can hopefully steer the ship with an increased measure of skill and grace as I move forward.

So thanks for taking the time to read this post. It was an important one for me.  Thank you to Peter and TurfNet for continuing to give me a platform to share personal stories like this one. I hope it serves as a narrative that can help you or someone you love navigate a difficult life situation. 

Take care & be well.

Growing up in Prince Edward Island, Canada, this time of year is hallmarked by taking a drive through the countryside and seeing numerous vehicles parked on the edges of main roads. Most folks who live in the houses at the end of long, unpaved lanes are not willing to drive their vehicles up the slippery ruts of mud that unpaved laneways inevitably become. The temptation is strong, but they know through experience that giving in only will make the driveway worse in the long run.

But the ground’s still frozen
Beneath all this mud;
And winter, even on its way out
Will take with it anything
That opens too soon.

An excerpt from “The Mud Season”, by James A Pearson

This season can have many names, False Spring or Late Winter, but how we choose to deal with it remains the same. You have to be able to remember that if you think that you might get stuck… you will. You have to remember that just because you got somewhere in the morning when the ground was still mostly frozen, it doesn’t mean that you’ll be able to get back that way later in the day. One has to exercise patience above all else. One learns the value of restraint and the power of simply choosing to do nothing at all. 

One learns the value of restraint and the power of simply choosing to do nothing at all... 

I admit fully that this can be a difficult concept to grasp. Superintendents are well aware of the raw excitement that comes with the brightness of a fresh spring day; the early glimpses of new blooms, the return of the songbirds, and the sound of snow melting into swollen streams. It can almost make us delirious with possibility, and the overwhelming energy of what lies ahead for the upcoming season. It brings us out of hibernation and eager to sharpen the reels, dust off the cup cutter and get busy. 

But like refraining from the attempt to navigate the muddy laneway too soon, often times the best offense is patience. It can feel like we are struggling to keep the lid on the season to come, but there are many times in a superintendent’s career the best course of action is to do nothing at all. Our senses and the very cells of our bodies are screaming at us to do something…anything really, but in the end, the best thing we can do is to leave  it be and wait until the time is truly right.

How many times in your life does this axiom hold true? How many conversations would have been better if you said nothing and put your intention on listening instead? How many times have you intervened in a situation to try and fix things…only to end up making it all a little worse? How many times has your need to do something replaced the wisdom of stepping back and allowing things to play out on their own? 

It’s a hard one for many, but especially for Superintendents. We are fixers of things. We are the people who folks come to when things need to get done. It’s an inherent part of our identity as course managers and greenkeepers. It can almost feel immoral for us not to intervene. But if we can learn to sit with this feeling, and like nature allow things to play out without our intervention, we may learn far more in the long run. 

It simply means we are choosing a more natural route, one that allows thing to unfold as they will on their own...

When we choose this path, it doesn’t mean we don’t care. It doesn’t mean that we are being apathetic and not doing our jobs. It simply means we are choosing a more natural route, one that allows thing to unfold as they will on their own. It means attuning to and respecting the rhythms in nature. When we watch nature in the spring time (or during any change in season) it has its own schedule. It has its own rhythm. It all gets done, but in its own time, and in its own pace. It is not forced, it is not pushed and it retains a measure of efficiency within all its myriad and intertwined actions.

So next time you are heading out in the beginning of the season to do something, maybe pause and ask yourself, “Is this really necessary? Or am I just doing this to quell the feelings of unease and uncertainty within myself?” It can be really hard to do nothing. It takes a lot of practice to be patient. It also takes a healthy dose of overdoing it and failing in the process. Learning from it all helps us see how a lighter touch is sometimes the best medicine. This is how we learn to grow our wisdom alongside growing grass.
In the long run, exercising the muscles of restraint will inevitably make you not only a better superintendent, but a wiser human as well. 

Thanks for reading.

One particular season that often times gets ignored or overlooked in our modern western culture is winter (or the off season). Our culture glorifies the grind, continuously pushing us to work past what is reasonable, often times sacrificing our well being in the process. The idea of wintering is to actually reclaim this down time; to tune into the rhythm of the season and focus on rest as beautifully said in Wintering, the poem, by James A. Pearson. The groundbreaking book Wintering by Katherine May might also come to mind.

Our culture glorifies the grind, continuously pushing us to work past what is reasonable, often times sacrificing our well being in the process. The idea of wintering is to actually reclaim this down time...

Think of the idea of wintering in terms of turfgrass. Much like many plants, trees, insects and animals, turfgrass (both warm & cool season) goes into dormancy during periods of stress. When conditions are not conducive to growth, these species embrace the darkness and descend into a time of rest and hibernation. They conserve energy, slow down their physiological processes and fully embrace seasonality.

Take a moment and ask yourself… when was the last time I truly slowed down, on purpose, for a prolonged period of time? If you reflect on your own life and approach to work can you see an ebb and flow to the seasons? Do you take more than a week or two for vacation in the run of a year? What might your life look like if you embraced this idea of reduced effort and output for a whole season?

James A. Pearson, (speaking of trees) in his poem Wintering

“Every year they let go of
exactly what everyone says
is most beautiful about them
to save their own lives.”

As turfgrass systems go through this period of dormancy, they conserve themselves. They don’t try to force the issue and waste precious energy chasing continuous growth. Imagine if turfgrass never shut down, and instead attempted to grow no matter the conditions; in times of drought, in times of excess heat or cold, or even in times of excess moisture. If they never took their foot off the gas pedal and were always in a “growth mindset”, desperately trying to be better than the day before, they would eventually succumb to the excess output of energy. Instead, they listen to their biological processes and rest. They take the required time to heal from the rigours of the previous season. They give their internal physiology a chance to catch up and prepare themselves naturally for the season ahead.

If they never took their foot off the gas pedal and were always in a “growth mindset”, desperately trying to be better than the day before, they would eventually succumb to the excess output of energy...

It’s funny how when we apply our hustle culture and grinding mentality to other species, it begins to seem counterintuitive. Remember that endless growth at all costs is embedded into our society via our current economic system and the workplace is where it all plays out. But to what end and at what cost?

Obviously, as humans the idea of total hibernation is not realistic. But what if we embraced the slowness of the off season with more intention? How would we respond over the course of a whole year if we geared down and took our foot off the pedal for a spell? If we prioritized things like sleep, exercise, nutrition and our mental well being? Inevitably our busier season would be all the better for it. Our level of internal resilience would increase and we would be better prepared for the demands of the growing season.
I know that some of you reading this post are uncomfortable already. The message from both our industry and the wider society is to keep pushing. The drive to succeed and continually improve is relentless. Believe me, I get it. I have lived from this place for most of my life and the effects have been challenging to say the least.

But I also know the power of rest. I have directly experienced the miraculous feeling of intentionally carving out time for myself to reset my nervous system. I can still distinctly remember being on a week long, silent meditation retreat and taking a walk in the woods. At one point near the end of the walk, I stopped and placed my hand on a rock wall and wept. The main reason for the tears was simply because the entirety of my being realized how badly I needed this rest. This memory of finally recognizing my own vulnerability has stayed with me these years since.

The off season is best regarded as a time for reduced effort and increased rest and reflection during which we can take more time to tend our own well being and that of our staff. By focusing on inner work, we can begin to get to know ourselves better. We can create the conditions for greater balance, by going more with the natural flow and applying heaps of self- compassion along the way. Ironically, by choosing to step back, tone our efforts down and create more space in our lives, we will begin to see that rest affords us the goodness we didn’t know we needed until we gave it an honest try.

Thanks so much for reading.

For a while now I have been coming back to the number 10,000. This number first stumbled into my consciousness back a number of years ago when I read Malcolm Gladwell’s book Outliers. Gladwell looked at the studies of various researchers who basically concluded that in order to become an expert at something, one needed to spend approximately 10,000 hours practicing. Now in the years following the books’ release some folks have questioned Gladwell's theory, but he has stuck to the premise that dedicated practice for roughly 10,000 hours definitely helped one achieve mastery over their craft. It wasn’t that you didn’t need to be innately talented or catch a few breaks along the way; it’s just that talent alone wasn’t the most important variable.

The second time I stumbled the number came from my study of Taoism and basic mindfulness practice. There is a quote within Taoist text that basically states:

"When you open your heart, you get life’s ten thousand joys and ten thousand sorrows” ~ Chuang Tzu

The idea behind this quote is that it is only when we open to the fullness of life, in its totality, that we truly experience everything life has to offer. Nothing is held back or denied and we move to a place where we begin to develop a new relationship with all aspects of this life. 

As these ideas bounced around my head this past summer, I began to think about our jobs as golf course superintendents. One could definitely make the argument that it would take at least 10,000 hours of high quality practice to become a master greenkeeper. Surrounded by quality mentors, absorbing copious amounts of knowledge and practicing the craft with intention can bring us to a level of mastery that would rival an Olympic athlete. 

One could also postulate that we definitely have our fair share of joys and sorrows within the sphere of greenkeeping. Working with a living, breathing entity brings with it so many moments of joy and awe. On the flip side, working with an organic entity can also bring with it a fair share of difficult moments. Finding a level of balance and acceptance goes a long way to becoming a master of the craft. 

The list is endless and exhaustive. And it’s one that we probably don’t reflect on nearly enough.

As I reflected on these ideas, I realised that there was also another idea at play here. It’s the 10,000 details. The sheer volume of things that occur behind the scenes every day that create the playing surfaces that so many of our clients enjoy. These things can range from interactions with our turf teams to how many minutes of water to set for the night. It can be evaluating the health of a tree to making sure that we are up to date on our cultural practices. It could be the countless early mornings getting the course ready for play or the hours of research you did to ensure the next project is a success. 

The list is endless and exhaustive. And it’s one that we probably don’t reflect on nearly enough. It can be so easy to just move from one day to the next and never pick our heads up. To simply be bogged down by the sheer volume of the never ending list. It’s only when we step back and view the 10,000 details from a wider perspective, it shows you just how much knowledge and wisdom you possess. 

So as this year slowly draws to a close, maybe it’s time for us all to pause and reflect on the 10,000 details. Reflect on all we do and all we accomplish in the run of a season. Pause and thank your team for all they have done to create the conditions for the experiences all our golfers enjoy. 

And offer yourself a small spoonful of gratitude. We are never ones to beat our own drum too loudly or trumpet our successes to the world, but it never hurts to step back and see all that you do sometimes. 

Take care and thanks for reading.

Then there are the less dramatic events that still force you to start over. Things like job loss, having to move from your community or even the end of a relationship. These events may seem  less dramatic in the grand scheme of things, but they still call into question what you thought was stable and push you to find a way forward. 

When you come up against things like this in your life, they demonstrate in real time that nothing in this life is stable. Nothing is guaranteed. Everything can change in the blink of an eye, but the refrain remains the same…it all comes and goes.

...nothing in this life is stable. Nothing is guaranteed. Everything can change in the blink of an eye, but the refrain remains the same… it all comes and goes. 

It can be helpful early on to practice acceptance. In doing so you confront the reality of impermanence and learn to accept that change is simply part of your life. If you live a life that works against this reality, then you suffer. If you learn to accept that change and impermanence are the way of the universe, then you begin to relax and lean into life with greater ease.

Another thing that you can do is practice letting go. It doesn’t have to be an all or nothing practice. You don’t have to wake up tomorrow morning and radically change everything about your life. Instead, it can be helpful to begin to notice the smaller ways you can just let things be. Notice the ways you try to constantly steer the ship and control things around you. Notice the tension this causes within your mind and body. When you can learn to loosen your grip on the smaller things, you are in better shape to respond more skillfully when the inevitable larger life stresses occur. 

So how do you navigate such shifts in your life? When in doubt, begin and end with kindness to self and others. Begin internally and work your way outward. Whether it’s your family, friends or larger community, a little bit of kindness can go a long way. Anyone could be suffering at any given time. When you rush to judgement or form an opinion too quickly, you cut yourself off from possibility. Leading with kindness creates space to more readily find your own start over point. 

When you can learn to loosen your grip on the smaller things, you are in better shape to respond more skillfully when the inevitable larger life stresses occur. 

Noticing these micro shifts in your life begins to show you that, in reality, you are constantly starting over. It can all feel static when you are living your day to day life, but if you step back and observe it from a short distance away, you begin to see that you actually are constantly changing and beginning again. 

Take your career for example:

• You are not the person who started out mowing greens on the weekends or trimming for hours on end. You are not the person who took a chance and went to college for a turf degree. 
• You are not the person who interned, learned how to repair an irrigation leak or ran a crew on the weekend for the first time. 
• You are not the new super who hired your first employee or inversely let the first one go. 

Rather, you are the sum of all those experiences. They have all led you to whatever stage of your career you currently find yourself. They have shaped you, but they don’t define you. At each of these stages, you had to start over. You had to let go of a small piece of who you thought you were and choose to start again. Each day is such an opportunity. Though you might not always be aware of it, you are constantly presented with the opportunity to start again, no matter where you are on the ladder. 

With mindful awareness you can remember that in fact, each moment, each breath holds this gem of an opportunity. No matter how bad things seem or how unsettling a scenario appears, you are there, with your breath as your companion. Breath training and mindful awareness can ensure you remain more even keeled.

If you find yourself in the very difficult aftermath of a tragedy or simply struggling to find a truer version of yourself, remember this simple tool you can use at any moment. Breathe. That’s it. Just breathe. Pause, take a few deep breaths and allow yourself to settle in. Oftentimes the answers to the big questions are hiding in plain sight, and you just need to train yourself to pause long enough for them to be revealed.  

Oftentimes the answers to the big questions are hiding in plain sight, and you just need to train yourself to pause long enough for them to be revealed.  

For many, the idea of starting over can be terrifying. You can question everything and are scared to death of what comes next. If you have opened to the idea that you don’t actually have to have the right answer, you  don’t have to try and control your way out of the situation and you can relax and trust that things will work out then you find that you have more internal space. You are more open to what’s to come because you know that it’s the way life works. 

So in a funny kind of way you do get to choose. Every single time you are confronted with these events that feel thrust upon you, whether large or small, you get to choose how you respond to them. You may go off course more than once, and you may even desperately fall back into your old worn out habits. That’s ok… because in the next moment, you have the same choice. To pause, take a breath and start over again. Hard as it might sound, it really is this simple.

Thanks for reading,
Paul

When you think about it, we spend slightly less than half of our lives practicing this craft. We each have our own idiosyncrasies and habits when it comes to what works best for us to hopefully achieve the proper amount of rest each day. It’s a part of our lives that is so completely undervalued and misunderstood, and yet we cannot live without it. 

As golf course superintendents and turf personnel, we are well acquainted with sleep… or consequently, the lack of it. It’s usually around the middle of our respective seasons that we begin to notice the cumulative effects of lack of sleep. We grind and grind, waking at ungodly hours and then push ourselves through the rest of the day. Unfortunately, this pattern does nothing but harm our overall health. Short of changing careers, there isn’t much we can do to avoid the early mornings, but there are things we can do to ensure this career choice doesn’t affect us negatively.

I recently read a fascinating book on the subject of sleep called, Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams by Matthew Walker. It was a sobering read for someone as chronically sleep deprived as me because in the book Walker clearly explained that all essential biological processes which support our overall well being are affected by the quality of our sleep. Things like our diet, emotional regulation, learning and decision making as well as the overall health and functioning of our internal organs are all supported by adequate sleep. Even the quality of our immune system and how quickly we heal from injury are impacted by how well we sleep.

The dangers of poor sleep are also thoroughly outlined in this book. Ironically there aren’t many of today’s modern maladies that are not worsened by poor sleep habits. From cancer, to diabetes, to many psychiatric illnesses… the effects of poor sleep are linked to them all. Not to mention the wider societal implications of something as simple as decision making. Vital decisions are being made on a daily basis by many folks who are not at the top of their game simply because they aren’t sleeping properly.

Vital decisions are being made on a daily basis by many folks who are not at the top of their game simply because they aren’t sleeping properly...

The other major issue that this book dealt with was how many accidents and fatalities are caused by fatigue and lack of sleep. The CDC shows that every hour in the US, someone is involved in a fatigue related accident. It’s odd how as a society we shame those who drive under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol, yet many of us drive when excessively fatigued each and every day.

Despite all of this our culture continues to glorify being busy all the time and we have normalized feeling exhausted as part of how the game is played.

This hit very close to home this summer. A dear friend and colleague got a very upsetting call from his young adult son who was following him to work at the golf course for the weekend shift. Apparently he had fallen asleep, veered off the road, flipped the car multiple times and landed in the woods.Thankfully this young man walked away from the crash, but many are not so lucky. 

This sobering reminder of the dangers of driving while tired also hit me on an even more personal level. I drove the very same road on which this accident occurred countless times as a young man working my first assistant job. It was a grow- in gig and as I reflect back on it now, it’s only through some random chance that I didn’t fall prey to a similar accident all those years ago given that I too fell asleep driving that very same road but I quickly awoke before an accident occurred.

So how are we, the turf community, to tackle this issue? 

The first step in finding a solution to any problem is to bring awareness and acceptance to the table. We first need to acknowledge that this is an issue. That’s a tough one, because ironically our industry does the opposite and tends to glorify the grind and the conditions that contribute to our poor sleep habits. It’s tough, believe me I know. I have worked my whole career in this industry and succumbed to the same harms as everyone else. Heck, I still fall prey to it and am feeling exhausted on a daily basis.

...our industry does the opposite and tends to glorify the grind and the conditions that contribute to our poor sleep habits.

For me, the most important step that I have taken recently  is to actually prioritize my sleep. It has to get to the point where getting the requisite amount of sleep each day becomes non-negotiable in your own mind. This is both an internal and external process. You have to place your intention on the process and then create the external conditions which support it. This can be as simple as room darkening shades or a sleep mask or ear buds to help facilitate sleep while it is still bright outside or as drastic as sleeping in a room (or bed) of your own if you usually share a bedroom with a partner.

Walker also presented some key things to focus on if you are interested in improving your sleep:

• Temperature control – our bodies need to drop 1-2 degrees internally to get a good nights’ sleep
• Darkness – we sleep better if the room we are in is in complete darkness
• Consistency – keeping a consistent schedule is very helpful
• Reducing stimulation – a wind down routine that is free from external stimulation (no screens) is key 
• Physical exercise – regular exercise and a consistent stretching routine before bedtime go a long way to promoting quality sleep
• Quiet time – practices like meditation and reflection help to quiet our minds and help us to regulate    our nervous systems which help us sleep more easily.
• The Nap – never underestimate the power of a solid nap.

While we can’t control all the minutiae of our lives, we can do things which improve our health thereby improving our chances for longevity.  Getting adequate sleep is one of the most important things we can do towards this end. The phrase “I’ll sleep when I’m dead” came up in the first chapter. Walker’s retort was, while that may be true, if we ignore our sleep the end may come a lot sooner than we wish. 

Sweet dreams! Thanks for reading, 
Paul

When asked why greenkeeping is such a special craft, all of the above-mentioned folks invariably come back to the mornings. They get a faraway look in their eyes, and wax poetically about how special it is to be out on their respective courses just as the sun rises. It’s an ethereal thing, hard to pin down and even more difficult to explain. 

Something deep and serene touches many of us when we are out on a golf course early in the morning. There is a sense of solitude and inner peace as we watch a property shake the sleep from its eyes and wake to life. Listening to the birds and animals stirring, watching the dew glisten on the turf and wildflowers, and being quiet as the early morning fog burns off brings an almost spiritual quality the early hours. You embody a sense of presence most readily attuned to early in the morn. 

Something deep and serene touches many of us when we are out on a golf course early in the morning...

Being on a golf property while most of the rest of the world still sleeps has a special quality of quieting the mind’s usual chatter. There is an unspoken connection between all golf course workers which only reveals itself early in the morning. The stillness brings with it a sense of peace and ease, one that settles our nervous systems and allows a sense of clarity to emerge as the day begins. 

Ask any farmer, fisher or anyone who works in close connection to the earth and they will recognize the morning experience. There is something deep and ancient within us that becomes fully realized when we are quiet enough to listen to the land. When we are still enough to be fully present with the natural world, it opens us to a sense of connection with all.  

This is often times the part of the game that golfers don’t fully appreciate on a cerebral level, but deep down they know this connection to be true.

This is often times the part of the game that golfers don’t fully appreciate on a cerebral level...

Golf’s deep connection to the land extends back to the dawn of the game of itself. It’s a sport that has always been intertwined with the natural world and nature is an integral part of the game. The elements of wind, rain, and temperature each play a distinct role in how a course plays on any given day. The game itself hinges on the weather, and how well a player does on any given day is predicated on their ability to accept and play within the parameters that nature offers. The game has evolved in concert with nature.  From the first bunkers being scraped out by burrowing animals looking for shelter, to the shifting nature of the dunes on the earliest links courses, the game in its purest form has always been in communion with the natural world.

It’s also worth reflecting on this early natural connection with respect to the modern game and how we have come to manage our properties with all of the technology and inputs at our disposal. In the larger picture it bears considering, how well do we currently work in concert with nature? Are we bent on controlling all the elements and variables? Are we constantly seeking to almost remove the variance of nature from the equation?  Are we willing to allow the rhythms of the natural world to dictate much of what we do or are we taking things too far and pushing our cultural practices and inputs beyond what is reasonable in order to satisfy unrealistic expectations?  These are questions worth pondering as nature offers great beauty and sustenance to all living things.  In order to honour these gifts we must pay closer attention to the rhythms the natural world moves to without any interference from us.

So the next time you are out on the links as the sun rises, pause. Pause for a spell and breathe deeply. Feel the sense of presence and connection with both the natural world and all of your sisters and brothers who are all experiencing the same sunrise. Let this moment offer clarity and focus, and a sense that we are all in this together. 

Take care and thanks for reading.

Internally, many of us live our lives from a place of constant judgment and opinion. We spend a great deal of time and mental energy lining ourselves up against “the norm”, feeling that we are falling short and constantly striving to make up the difference somehow. We create stories that become our internal narrative about the way things are, and feed these stories instead of questioning their validity. We inadvertently maintain the status quo this way. There is a strange and quieting comfort when we are quite certain about things. It means we don’t have to push any boundaries or step out of our comfort zones. We can stay safely tucked away in our own little bubble, content to live our lives judging ourselves and everything around us without any self examination or any drive to challenge ourselves towards betterment.

Let’s pause and think of our own industry for a moment. The ruinous nature of our work lives being constantly fueled by external expectations and endless comparison are form of judgment, but what often stands out the most is how we stay glued to “the way things have always been done”. The reasons for our willingness to maintain the status quo in this way can be varied; they can be market driven, there may be real limitations at your particular facility, or it may even originate from a simple fear of change. Whatever the reason, there are many properties that collectively resist change and innovation just because it’s more comfortable to live in ignorance.

And yet there’s another way forward and through. It‘s rooted in a less rigid and more playful quality of being… It’s curiosity.

On the golf course, when we begin to be curious we start to form better questions. Whether it concerns our cultural practices, leadership strategies, or even our own personal work patterns, questioning the status quo can reveal so very much. When we open our minds to alternative explanations, learning and unlearning occur spontaneously. Seeking to answer these new queries leads us to measure and quantify things differently, leading us to see our old worn out practices in an entirely new light.

...when we begin to be curious we start to form better questions.

Think of all that we held as sacrosanct twenty years ago. Where would we be if someone hadn’t challenged the prevailing opinions and asked better questions? The list of new, alternative initiatives and perspectives has been staggering.  From cultural practices, fertility and moisture management, hiring practices and flexibility in work arrangements, new data collection practices, expanded learning and leadership development, the long overdue recognition of gender and diversity inclusivity, and even some guy talking about the importance of mindfulness and taking care of ourselves! The list is almost endless and none of it would have been possible if someone hadn’t paused and become curious. 

When we, as a society, bring a mindset of curiosity to wider cultural divisions, funny things start to happen here as well. We realize that we are all far more similar than we’ve been lead to believe. As a species our fundamental needs are the same. We all want to be happy, to feel like we belong, and most importantly, to be loved. Curiosity allows us to break down long held opinions and stereotypes and begin to ask deeper questions of ourselves and those around us.

As we do so we begin to see through the thin veneer of our stories, and realize that many of our ingrained habits and patterns no longer serve us well. We begin to see that all of our deeply held opinions weren’t ours to begin with. Just a bunch of ideas that accumulated over time which we had convinced ourselves were important and true.

We begin to see that all of our deeply held opinions weren’t ours to begin with...

As we begin to view ourselves through a different lens, we also begin to connect on a deeper level with those around us. We come to see our common humanity by realizing that our suffering is not unique, and that we share many of the same issues with our broader communities. This realization inevitably leads to less opinion, less comparison, and less judgment. Instead we embrace a newfound sense of compassion and understanding.

Judgment contains us. 

Opinions cut us off from possibility. 

Comparison only serves to limit us. 

Expectations fuel anxiety and lead us further away from ourselves. 

Curiosity opens us to new perspectives. It fuels creativity and innovation. It reminds us that there is elegance in simplicity. It shows us that we need not seek to divide or conquer, but rather mend and heal. It shows us who we really are… and that, in the end, is such a gift.

Thanks for reading.

My personal life has recently been an interesting paradox in momentum. On one hand something that I have worked incredibly hard to build over a long period of time is beginning to find its own momentum. Things appear to be falling into place without continual extreme effort. Connections are manifesting themselves now almost as by magic, and opportunities are presenting themselves right before my eyes. It feels wonderful.

On the other side of the same personal fence, there are aspects of my life that one could confidently describe as “anti-momentum.” Difficult personal situations which have been exacerbated by variables beyond my control have left me with feelings of being stuck.  

Instead of wonderful, it’s both emotionally draining and physically exhausting and has taken all of my mindful practice and then some to remain upright many days. 
These are two vastly different experiences of the workings of momentum in my own life. Hence my curiosity about the misconceptions that surround it and how erroneous expectations can often times lead us down the wrong path.

Our cultural take on momentum generally falls somewhere in the vicinity of a sports team seemingly waking up one day and finding they have become a dynasty or a musical artist/band that suddenly finds themselves an overnight success. We laud the idea of such grand achievements and act as though someone waved their wand and poof: success materializes! 

Such wonders can feel mysterious because we rarely understand the full complexity of what lies behind a surge in positive momentum. 

Such wonders can feel mysterious because we rarely understand the full complexity of what lies behind a surge in positive momentum...

When we sneak a peek behind the curtain, we are oftentimes too quick to attribute these phenomena to natural ability. Hard work sometimes factors into the conversation, but it’s usually a distant second.  Ironically it’s most often the inverse that is true. Lots of folks have natural talents and gifts, but no idea about the amount of work it takes to develop them to the highest level. It’s a rarity when someone fuses them both successfully. 

People who have a healthy relationship with the idea of momentum generally have a few things in common. Firstly they realize that it’s a long con. Step by step, one day at a time, they put in the work with intention bolstered by passion. 

The idea of a flywheel comes to mind. 

A great amount of consistent effort is necessary to get the wheel moving, until it builds to a point where the momentum of the flywheel itself generates its own continued energy. The key factor is action. It’s impossible to generate momentum in anything by sitting idly by and expecting something to happen. Successful folks take slow, steady action by staying the course and the momentum finds them eventually. 

People who have a healthy relationship with momentum appreciate that progress is not linear. Life never progresses in a straight line and we need to learn to accept everything that comes our way. There are lessons contained within both the ups and the downs, and practicing acceptance allows us to access a deeper sense of ease. 

Think of what goes into building the career of a golf course superintendent. Reflect on the intention, commitment and at times, the personal sacrifices which brought you to where you are today. How long did it take to get to the point when it seemed like things really started going your way? Have you learned to accept the inevitable difficulties?  Are you still working at building your momentum?

The other commonality folks who know how to work with the concept of momentum share is the full realization that everything comes and goes. Nothing lasts forever so it is vital to seize the opportunity and then ride the wave of momentum when it presents itself. 

Nothing lasts forever so it is vital to seize the opportunity and then ride the wave of momentum when it presents itself...

Author and music producer Rick Rubin has a wonderful outlook on this saying basically that we must deeply attune ourselves to the creative process and listen intently for the signs of possibility. His philosophy is that when we are fully dialed into the process, we can take part in the momentum while it exists, and then be willing to let it go once it plays its part. 

What about those moments during the course of the season when we step back, see it all laid out in front of us and say, everything is exactly as it’s supposed to be. When these moments of such super bliss occur its often because we have put in the work, adhered to the process and are then rewarded with a feeling that everything is as it should be. Its rarified air and it’s critical to pause and be grateful for when it occurs. This sense of gratitude is important, because we will need it to reflect back on when this moment moves on. 

As I circle back to the circumstances that have fueled my reflections as of late, I am comforted by the notion that there is purpose in it all. Some things are more trying than others, but the idea that they will shift into something that I cannot yet see gives meaning beyond the suffering. 

Remembering, as well, that all things pass in time gives critical perspective when you still have your shoulder to the wheel. 

I am grateful for the current positive momentum which has gathered in one realm of my life and am deeply thankful to those who have supported me and played a part in the journey. That includes all of you who take the time to pause and read this blog.  

Thanks so much for reading.

There is a natural flow to seasons. No matter where one is situated, the shifts and changes in the natural environment follow their own patterns. Sometimes these patterns will alter and slowly evolve into something slightly different, but overall the seasonality of the natural world doesn’t change.

When viewed through our human lenses, a season can appear to exist in singularity. We say things like “the start of another season” or “finally, the end of another season”, but this is a fallacy. All seasons build upon themselves and are directly connected to the previous ones. What appears to exist as one entity is really a collection of interconnected events that never stops. 

All seasons build upon themselves and are directly connected to the previous ones...

Think of this idea in terms of a tree. A seed for a particular specimen lays dormant until the conditions are right for germination to occur. Once growth is initiated, the young seedling is completely dependent on its brothers and sisters for protection, nourishment and the wisdom it needs to flourish. 

As this young tree grows, it is constantly affected by its surroundings and its environment. Each season builds upon the last and our young friend embeds the memory of each one in its very tissues. Think of the rings that we count on a stump to determine the age of a tree. The space between each ring tells a tale, one of seasonality and the elements and events that shaped it. 

With each passing season the tree grows in strength, flexibility and in wisdom. It learns to manage the seasons, letting go of the leaves of the previous one in order to rest and learn from the dormancy of the winter season. After a season of hibernation and silence, the spark of awareness is lit again in the spring, and growth begins again. 

Eventually all of the abundance, scarcity, storms, traumas and memories enable this specimen to mature  . One that is capable of aiding, supporting and providing the vital wisdom to the new seedlings nearby. It has learned not to fight or reduce the seasons of its lifespan down to a single event or something individual. Instead it fully recognizes the inherent flow of the seasons and the lessons embedded within them.

And so it goes with life as a golf course superintendent.  When we are new and fresh to the craft, we are supple and absorptive. We are constantly searching out new and exciting experiences all the while realizing how dependent we are on the protection and nourishment that comes from our older and wiser specimen supers. 

As we move through our careers, we gather experience and wisdom. We learn intimate and defining lessons from each season. None of these seasons exist in isolation, but rather build upon the previous ones. We experience the inevitable joys and sorrows, learn valuable lessons from all of the people that come and go, and accumulate vital intelligence from both our successes and failures alike. Like the growth rings of a tree, each season embeds in our tissues and defines our life in turf. 

We experience the inevitable joys and sorrows, learn valuable lessons from all of the people that come and go, and accumulate vital intelligence from both our successes and failures alike...

We learn to rely on and draw from the community that surrounds us. The network of roots and nourishment that comes from not only our extended turf community, but that of our families and friends serves to support and shape us as we grow. From academia, to sales folk, mentors, and not to mention all of the smaller daily lessons we learn from the colorful cast of characters on our turf teams, we learn, we grow and eventually become the specimen tree that folks begin to look to when wisdom is required. 

During our careers, if we can learn to tune into the flow of the seasons, then we can glean what is necessary. 

If we can learn to build upon the lessons they contain, both good and bad, then we create a well rounded perspective. 

If we can learn to let go of the leaves of the previous season, then we create space for something new to emerge. 

And finally if we can learn to take the time to rest and integrate the experiences contained within the seasons, we will learn to stand humbly and quietly within the forest of our lives. 

Thanks so much for reading.

If we pause and look to history for guidance, we don’t have to look farther than our own greenkeeping ancestors. The earliest practitioners of our craft looked at things through a much different lens than we do today. Many of our earliest brethren (unfortunately there weren’t any Women in Turf groups back then) were quiet, unassuming people. They worked their days in service of the early players of the game, often taking on many different mantles. Their duties included golf pro, club and ball maker, rudimentary golf course architect, equipment technician, and even “butler” within the clubhouse (many used to ring the dinner bell to call the players off the course and back to the clubhouse. — Practical Greenkeeping, Jim Arthur.)

Those in charge of tending the future of the game have become infected with greed and the notion that they know what is best for everyone else...

This notion of humble service also extended to the properties they tended. Except in this case they were in the service of nature. Early on, linksland was chosen simply because that land wasn’t suited for much else. The courses were laid out in very basic and pure forms, simply finding the best routes through the dunes that would connect teeing ground to the green. The idea of manipulation or moving the ground to suit the game wasn’t even considered, mostly because it wasn’t possible with the equipment at hand. The best course of action was to work with the land, gently massaging and coaxing features into being over time. 

Early greenkeepers were keenly observant and patient with their craft, which slowly evolved over the centuries. They did only what was necessary, because doing too much just created extra work. Our craft developed against the backdrop of the seasons, working with them instead of going against the grain. Modeling the natural flow of the seasons gave our greenkeeping ancestors a deep connection to the land they tended and bestowed the earliest courses a sense of place that endures through to today. 

The essence of this early approach to our craft still rings true among current superintendents. We are still by nature a humble bunch, willing to work in the shadows of the early mornings to prepare for the matches of the day. We are a resourceful and keenly observant lot, but now go above and beyond to do the job better than we did yesterday. This idea of service has worked both in our favour and against us by times, but through it all we continue to shape the evolution of the game. 

The essence of this early approach to our craft still rings true among current superintendents. We are still by nature a humble bunch, willing to work in the shadows of the early mornings to prepare for the matches of the day...

One might wonder what the greenkeepers of old would think if they were to look upon the game in its current form. One could argue that there have always been changes in technology that have affected the game. Even back then there were improvements in clubs and golf balls that enabled players to gain an advantage. New machinery allowed more manipulation of the land and increased pressures from the growing popularity of the game. But they would be shocked to see what the modern game has become. 

The technological improvements that our greenkeeping industry has seen during the last number of years have simply been staggering. From nutrient and chemical delivery, water management, GPS systems, the rapid evolution of mowers and niche turf equipment to the monumental leaps forward in construction techniques, our industry has evolved rapidly. We can manipulate so many variables on a daily basis, almost by times taking nature and the guesswork associated with our jobs out of the equation. What would Old Tom Morris think about growth regulators, moisture meters, GPS sprayers and our ability to deliver micro amounts of fertility? What would be going through his mind as he stepped onto the first tee of many tour level courses today? 

In light of the largess of the modern game of golf, it might be time for superintendents of today to look backward to  rediscover the essence of our craft. By looking to the past, we may regain some of the humility and sense of allowance that shaped the game. We could ask important questions like, “Is this necessary?” or “Is that enough for now?” Not in the sense of advocating for moving our industry backwards per se, but with the hopes that we might reconnect with some of the old ways in order to better chart the course forward. 

Golf course superintendents are the backbone of this game. We are the ones who through time have set the stage and produced the surfaces upon which the soul of the game lays. We will be the ones who will see it through turbulent times and set a sustainable course for what’s to come. This current churning of the waters has little if anything to do with our craft and how we choose to practice it. But in the end it’s up to us to set the course that will allow the game to endure. 

Thanks for reading.

But like anything in this life, too much of a good thing can be problematic. In the early history of the game, blind shots were more frequent because most courses were more simply laid out across the links' land. Early architects and green keepers didn’t have the ability to move much earth, so in order to connect the routing, the occasional blind shot was unavoidable.  The early players of the game were also not that plentiful, so traffic issues were not a problem. You can still find blind shots in more modern designs, but our notions of what is fair within the game have also changed dramatically. 

The quirkiness of too many blind shots quickly evaporates if people get hurt. They can also create longer than necessary rounds if people are spending too much time searching for their golf balls. It doesn’t mean that we need to necessarily bulldoze every hill into submission and remove all uncertainty, but the game has evolved and hence blindness has diminished over time.

The same principles can be applied to our personal lives. The occasional blind spot in our personalities can provide variety and quirk. If the blind spot is relatively harmless, then people can usually overlook the trait and our lives can proceed without much trouble. We are mere humans after all. But as with links courses of old, if we have too many “Dell Holes” within our personalities, the patterns that result can cause us a great deal of suffering.

The occasional blind spot in our personalities can provide variety and quirk...

For me personally, my introspection and mindfulness practice has allowed me to reflect on what others have recognized as "blind shots" in my personality. On the surface, two of the main culprits may seem fairly innocuous and are widely accepted as desirable human traits. I tend to be a very hard worker and I care a lot about other people. When these two things occur in proper proportion within my daily journey, they rarely cause too much trouble. In fact, when they are balanced with everything else in my life, they provide a great deal of good for many people (including myself).

You may be thinking to yourself, what in the world is wrong with working hard and caring for others? As I said, when these traits are operating within healthy boundaries in my life, then they are not problematic. It’s when they take over and bully their way in front of everything else, they become dangerous and very harmful.

With regards to work, we can all appreciate what happens when it goes too far. My health suffers; I am constantly exhausted, and more prone to effects of stress. I make poor decisions, eat takeout too often and I overuse alcohol or tech distractions to unwind.  As a result, my family life and relationships suffer and I struggle to do my job to the best of my ability. 

With regards to work, we can all appreciate what happens when it goes too far...

When it comes to helping others, the proportion issue is much the same. When my desire to help others supersedes my ability to create healthy boundaries, I can be prone to compassion fatigue. I can also put the perceived needs of others ahead of my own needs and those of my family. 

My meditative practice has helped me tremendously in confronting and realizing the effects these blind spots have on my life. It has helped me listen to my body and heed the cues it can offer forth. It has allowed me to open my mind and listen to those around me when they offer constructive criticism. Offering compassion inwardly has also helped in both my ability to work and help others in a more sustainable way. 

It’s not to say that I have fixed these life patterns completely; far from it at times. But my awareness of these habits has helped me to find more space within my life. It’s definitely hard work being this honest with yourself, but it’s so very worth it in the long run. 

I would encourage you to look inward and see if you can identify internal blind spots. See if there is anything in your life that others are gently nudging you to examine and maybe take a look with an open perspective. As I mentioned earlier, the occasional blind spot can be quirky and harmless. They can even add variety and spice to one’s life.  But there are definitely times in our lives that having things in plain view can be very helpful.  Proceed with self compassion as your anchor. Kindness to self is the oxygen mask we all need to put on as we navigate turbulence both within and in the greater world around us.

Thanks so much for reading.

 Most of the experiences anyone has on a daily basis don’t occur in isolation. There is a tremendous amount of behind the scenes work that goes on for anyone to enjoy fresh food, for instance. Same too for the last meal you ate at a restaurant, your last outing to a music event, and yes, even your last round of golf. None of these experiences happen out of the blue. They are all part of a vast network of people and variables that play a role in bringing the experience to fruition. 

Having flowed through an interconnected web of circumstances before arriving in front of us, the quality of the goods or experience depends partly on how we choose to receive it, but it also depends a great deal on the journey it took before we came to engage with it. 

If the process was forced, unsustainable or infused with suffering, in the end it will be apparent. Maybe not right away, but we all know when something isn’t genuine. If the process was open, and filled with passion and commitment to craft then it’s also readily apparent. As human beings we know the difference.

If the process was forced, unsustainable or infused with suffering, in the end it will be apparent...

Let’s pause a moment and think about an experience that lingers in our consciousness. It could be anything really, an interaction with a piece of art, a truly memorable meal, or the last movie or book that affected you. Think of all of the variables involved for this experience to resonate with you. Think of the emotions and the physical sensations you felt and how they imprinted this experience into your memory. If appropriate, reflect on the gratitude or joy this memory brings to you. 

When you find yourself in the toughest part of the season it can be difficult to remember why you do what you do. It can be hard to find space, come up for a breath and find perspective again. But if you pause, it can be really helpful to reflect on your process and how it affects those who enjoy our properties each day. Is your process constricted and laden with expectation? Is it causing unintentional suffering to those involved along the way? Or is it born of craftspersonship, passion and sustainability? Is it one that leaves everyone involved grateful to be a part of something bigger than themselves?

When we choose a process that starts and ends with kindness, then we inevitably create a larger experience. When we are dedicated to the craft of greenskeeping, then it shows in the end result. It shows in the sense of place and community that is created on our properties. And it shows in the lasting memories which are created. 

When we choose a process that starts and ends with kindness, then we inevitably create a larger experience.

In the end you cannot control how someone experiences your golf course. You have no influence over their situation or state of mind they may find themselves in while they play. What you can do is dedicate yourself to practicing the craft. You can create the conditions for positive outcomes, while releasing yourself from any burden associated with them.
One of the best lessons I have learned as a mindfulness meditation teacher is that it’s not my job to make someone a good student of the practice. All I can do is plant the seed. What happens after that is up to them. But along the way I can commit myself to the practice and the craft of teaching. I can study and learn and pass on the gift the best way I know how. And in the end, that’s all I can do. I must let go of the outcome and let the chips fall where they may.

So take care. Take care of your crews and those in your charge. Commit yourself to the craft and use kindness as your compass. In the end, it will show and those folks who love your course will continue to create memories that will last a lifetime. 

Thanks for reading.
 

It’s the very thing that has the biggest influence on just about every decision and prediction we attempt every single day. A poor relationship with it can grind us down over time. It can be hard to pin down, difficult to articulate and trying to grasp it is akin to squeezing a handful of bunker sand. 

It’s uncertainty.

In the grand scheme of things, there are few things one can count on; but that’s not the case with regards to change and uncertainty. If you ever want to be 100% certain about anything, it’s that you can never really know for sure.  As a species we spend a great deal of time and energy trying to predict things and convince folks that we have all the answers. Heck, it’s basically the main tenant that our whole capitalistic system is based on.

We also spend a great deal of internal energy manipulating and attempting to control our own experience and that of others. We often times erroneously assume that if we could just think about it a little bit more, figure out one last possible scenario… then things will work out perfectly. We also incorrectly assume that if we can just judge someone enough that surely they will change.

Take a moment to think about uncertainty through the lens of managing turf. If we look back with clarity and honesty, how many of our careers have worked out exactly how we planned? How many of our cultural practices or products have had the exact intended effect? Or maybe, how many practices that at one time we would have sworn were absolutely necessary, we now either do completely differently or even not at all? 

...how many practices that at one time we would have sworn were absolutely necessary, we now either do completely differently or even not at all?

Now I don’t mean to insinuate that thinking things through isn’t helpful. Taking one’s time and plotting a course can keep us prepared for a great many eventualities. But as with most things, there is a tipping point where the return on investment begins to diminish and our planning and attention to detail begins to work against us. Too much thinking can leave us paralyzed with inaction and procrastination.

As mentioned earlier, there is an internal cost associated with over thinking and hyper planning. We can become constricted and cut off from spontaneity. The space for creativity shrinks and we tend to fall into the safest and most conservative play. The more we worry and try to control the outcome, the more miserable we become. The actual physiological effects of stress and worry can be debilitating. (The actual Latin translation for the word worry is “to strangle.”)

So what is the antidote to our internal attempts to control what may or may not happen? Ironically, it’s both the easiest and paradoxically the most difficult thing of all… we just let go. We can do the work, lay the foundation and plan things out, but in the end still realize that life offers no guarantee of a successful outcome. We can also tune into our internal dialogue and listen to how we approach life’s inevitable ups and downs. Can we see it all for what it is and simply accept the outcome? Without compiling our internal suffering or judgement?

“The chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can say clearly to myself which are externals not under my control, and which have to do with the choices I actually control. Where then do I look for good and evil? Not to uncontrollable externals, but within myself to the choices that are my own…” — Epictetus

The stoics and the eastern traditions offer similar advice on how to live with this reality of uncertainty. Basically it comes down to how we choose to respond to any given situation. The stress of not knowing and feeling internally unmoored will accompany us through this life whether we want it to or not. The level of ease and contentment in our lives generally comes down to how we choose respond to the outcome.

As of late there has been a great deal of uncertainty in all of our lives. The baseline hasn’t changed much; we all still live and die and gain and lose a great deal in between. But there have also been things like the pandemic and the climate emergency to tend with. Both of these events alone have had and will continue to have a profound effect on how we live our lives. Choosing to look at them through an alternate lens, one that focuses on what we can control can offer some space moving forward.

If we choose to focus on what we can control (which is actually very little) and let go of the rest, then our lives turn towards a deeper measure of ease. If we accept fully that life is a dance of continuous uncertainty and that not knowing the answer at any given time is the nature of life itself, then we find more peace.

If we accept fully that life is a dance of continuous uncertainty and that not knowing the answer at any given time is the nature of life itself, then we find more peace.

Another important point to be mindful of is that shifting to a mindset of letting go doesn't mean we become apathetic or indifferent. Going down that road can be as dangerous as over thinking. Rather we are simply practicing the art of letting things be, just as they are. We still stay connected, we still do the work and most importantly we still take responsibility for our actions; but we do it all with a measure of openness and non attachment. 

So we keep on keepin' on. We continue laying out our daily plans and intentions, and then letting go of the outcome. When it arrives, learn from it, be curious about it, and let it be. We wash, rinse and repeat. Along the way reminding ourselves that we don’t need to have all the answers, just the willingness and openness to let them find us. And remember that in the end, a little bit of doubt and uncertainty is just fine.

Thanks so much for reading.

Within the framework of this evolution, our national and regional associations have poured copious resources into both defining and elevating the role of Superintendents. And we as a community have also quietly assembled and lauded the qualities we value. Attention to detail, loyal to a fault, uniquely passionate and always willing to “do what it takes” or “go the extra mile” have become the reference points for many of us. We have been willing to humbly and quietly go about our business and get the job done.

In many cases this humility and willingness to sacrifice has grown our industry in a great many ways. The leaps in technology and our focus on education and learning has enabled us to create conditions that would have been unthinkable a couple of decades ago. This growth has also saddled us with an increase in expectation, both from our golfers and from within ourselves. The bar has indeed been raised in almost every area of our industry. But this evolution also begs the question…has it come with a hidden cost?

In our struggle to forge an identity for Greenkeepers and elevate our stature within the golf industry, we have also lost something along the way. As “the grind” has become celebrated, we have sacrificed more than we realized. We have convinced ourselves that we are inextricably linked with the inevitable ups and downs of our golf courses, and somewhere along the way, many of us have lost the plot.

As 'the grind' has become celebrated, we have sacrificed more than we realized...

Nowhere is this notion more evident than it is within the “turf is a lifestyle” mentality. It’s the idea that our jobs force us to sacrifice and structure everything else in our lives (including our well being) around the demands of our properties. Our relentless push to create amazing conditions day in and day out creates the illusion that the golf course matters more than anything else. Our family life, our friends and community and our physical and emotional health all must play second fiddle to the turf and our push to meet expectations. 

There are times within our careers that this level of dedication is warranted. Big tournaments, renovation projects or unexpected natural disasters can lead to multiple days of sacrifice and work. But these events are singular in nature. They require certain amounts of extra time to plan and execute, but when they finish we (should) take our foot off the pedal and recharge the batteries. The problem with the notion of “turf as a lifestyle” is that the foot stays firmly planted on the pedal at all times. And in the grand scheme of things, it’s simply not sustainable. 

The problem with the notion of 'turf as a lifestyle' is that the foot stays firmly planted on the pedal at all times. And in the grand scheme of things, it’s simply not sustainable. 

As with anything in life, when your focus becomes fixed and narrowed for a prolonged period of time we tend to lose part of ourselves. We get to a point where our identity becomes filtered through this singular lens and we forget the larger part of who we are. The successes and failures of our properties become our successes and failures. The unrealistic expectations of our members become entrenched in our psyche and become fuel for us to push and sacrifice even more. 

Dr. Gabor Mate once stated that the difference between passion and obsession is tension. If you can pursue something in your life with a sense of space and flow, then the idea of passion is healthy. On the other hand, if your version of passion involves tension, unhealthy sacrifice, and total commitment to the exclusion of just about everything else in your life… then you are in obsession territory. It might be time for us to ask this question both individually and collectively, and to look in the mirror and be honest with ourselves. Our culture as a whole celebrates this ideal of hustle and grind, so it should come as no surprise that our industry does the same. 

When we live from the 'turf as a lifestyle' scenario, it can also be helpful to remember that we are also sacrificing far more than our own identity. When we are fully committed to our turf lives to the exclusion of everything else, we are also affecting the people we love, often in negative ways. When the course always comes first, then it’s hard for resentment not to build over time.  Whether it’s our spouses, our children or our friends, it’s completely unrealistic to expect them to commit and sacrifice right along with you.  It’s tough to look in the mirror and admit that we have caused hurt and suffering with others, but in this case it’s the only way through.  

I speak as an authority on this matter because; unfortunately I lived from this place for many years. The course often took precedence over my home and family life, and it has taken a great deal of self reflection and internal honesty to come to terms with it. I’ve tried my best to heal the wounds it created. It’s neither a linear nor an easy process, but it’s worth it.

When the course always comes first, then it’s hard for resentment not to build over time.

When you watch a pendulum swing you will notice that it spends more time closer to the middle than it does at either extreme. It is toward this middle area that we need to shift our focus. We can find a place of healthy passion and still be very good at what we do. We can produce wonderful surfaces for golfers to PLAY A GAME ON and still have a life outside the golf course. We can continue this evolution of what it means to be a superintendent or course manager by embracing the idea that what we do for a living is but one small part in the totality of our identity. 

If any of this resonates with you, I would wholeheartedly encourage you to begin some internal inquiry. If you find yourself struggling or it feels like you are drowning in your work, reach out to someone and ask for help. If your identity has become completely enmeshed with the property at which you work, then work to find ways to create some healthy space and boundaries. We can move forward as an industry and continue to evolve to be better stewards of the land we tend, but only if we start to embrace the idea that we are much more than the limited notion that turf has to be an all encompassing lifestyle. 

Thanks so much for reading.

As I was writing that last piece, I stumbled across a quote from a teacher of mine; taken from a talk given at a meditation retreat I attended back in 2018.

Is it necessary? Or will a breath suffice?” ~ Jaya Rudgard

This line struck me as being rather profound at the time. So much so that I wrote it down as I sat in the airport waiting for my flight back home. I filed it away and actually forgot about it until recently. 

As I was pondering a theme for this piece, this line came back into my consciousness. It seemed to be in alignment with the questions raised by the previous post, but rooted in a deeper and more personal way. As we ask ourselves the difficult questions from a broader, industry wide vantage point, could we also do a u turn and ask ourselves this question in our own lives? 

This question was initially posed from a mindful inquiry angle. The idea at the retreat was to be able to insert this question into a personal situation one might be experiencing, to discern whether we need to actually follow through on a habitual course of action when the impulse to respond habitually arises. A good example might be inserting one’s opinion into a conversation. 

Is my opinion necessary? Or can I sit back, rest in the moment and just breathe instead? 

Maybe you could pause right now and wonder how this might be a helpful question in your own life. Admittedly, it can be a bit overwhelming to think about how many ways it could be applicable:

• Do I really need to dress down that employee in front of the rest of the crew? 
• Is it necessary to stay at work the extra couple of hours? 
• Do I really need that third beer? 
• Is it necessary to be on twitter right now? 

The list of possibilities is endless. But, ironically, the answers are often the same. 

There are so many moments in our lives where we run on autopilot and just do what we’ve always done. Habits and habitual response to situations are like that. Responses that have become so ingrained that we just assume that they are simply a part of our personality or even our DNA. They are nothing more or less than neural pathways we have forged in our own brain over time. And wonderfully, they can be changed!

There are so many moments in our lives where we run on autopilot and just do what we’ve always done...

When I feel entangled or trapped by my own habitual responses to the actions of someone in my family or workplace I find it very helpful to remember that I am only a breath away from choosing a different response to any given situation. When I feel powerless, this expansive remembrance is an incredibly empowering one.

Now some of you might be thinking, isn’t choosing to calmly breathe instead of “acting” akin to doing nothing at all? Shouldn’t we be trying to fix the situation? Isn’t that what superintendents, parents, partners, friends and neighbours do? 

Well, in certain circumstances, taking action is the wisest course. You can ask yourself this question and at times answer with a resounding yes! Should I go for a walk? Yes! Might I be more intentional about my self care regimen? Yes!  Should I take the time to listen? Yes! Should I choose kindness? Yes!

Taking a pause and choosing not to react is not an act of negation. You are not choosing to “opt out” and abandon your responsibilities. Instead, you are creating a space for a new, fresh take on a worn out trope. You are opening to the possibility contained within the moment, and giving yourself and others the opportunity to see things in a new light. From this, things may move in a new direction as the space provided by this simple act can move mountains.

Instead, you are creating a space for a new, fresh take on a worn out trope...

As with the difficult questions posed in the last blog post, these internal questions are no more comfortable. In most cases, they are actually even more challenging to navigate. But true personal inquiry is not meant to be comfortable. It’s meant to break down the accepted norms so we can get to the stage where the more sustainable ideas and ways of living in this world together reside. While the work may be challenging, not doing it keeps us trapped in the old pathways of habitual response. 

In closing, remember to frame it all in the context of kindness. As much as possible, apply an abundance of kindness to self and kindness to others.  It helps to soften life’s sharp edges.

Thanks for reading.  Take care, friend!

Founded in 1894 and located on a peninsula just outside Dublin, it was everything a proper links course should be; open, windswept and completely in its element. Links Manager Gary Johnstone was kind enough to take some time during his morning to show me around this historic property. The course was stunning in a great many ways, but what struck me the most was its sense of place and character. Even though the ground was frost covered, one couldn’t help but feel that things were as they should be. When speaking with Gary about their maintenance practices, the feeling I had was reinforced by the simplicity of their approach. They focused only on what was necessary-- nothing more than that. Fairways mown once per week, no fungicide usage on any surfaces, and fescue as far as the eye could see. What a breath of fresh air!

They focused only on what was necessary... nothing more than that.

Our tour left me with a renewed sense of why links golf speaks to me… because the approach to greenkeeping is so beautifully simple. 

The words “beautifully simple” are often times anathema in our modern society. If something is not a flashy spectacle and “post worthy” then it is not thought of as being of value. Yet, even when something does catch our eye, we are scanning the horizon for the next great thing, rarely resting in the moment and asking ourselves, “Is this good enough for now?” 

As we emerge from the shadow of the pandemic our industry is experiencing resurgence in play. Business is good and that is fueling growth across the board. In our rush to take advantage of this momentary spike in the games popularity there is new construction/renovation work, brand new alt golf facilities (think topgolf),  and an overall sense of optimism  in many corners of the industry. 

Everyone appears to be in a great big hurry to bury what we have just collectively gone through with the pandemic, a natural response to such a traumatic event. And it also seems that our answer to the massive weather events and shifts that are taking place with the climate crisis is simply more growth and development. 

What if we paused to reflect on our pandemic experience as golf course superintendents and used it to collectively begin framing deeper questions about the game itself. When the pandemic forced us to strip things down to their core elements, was that really a bad thing? Has our mad rush back to “normality” caused us to turn our backs on the possibility of less actually being more?  Could we pause long enough to see that simpler just might be better and far more sustainable on all fronts?

When the pandemic forced us to strip things down to their core elements, was that really a bad thing?

For years we have been pushing the envelope with course conditioning and maintenance. I sometimes wonder if our push for improved conditions and the technology that allows this to occur, has raised the bar to a level that is simply unsustainable moving forward.  And this is not just within the golf industry but across the board in all facets of our lives. The degree of complexity and specialization we find ourselves living with everyday is simply too much for people to have to navigate and it is pushing us outside our internal limits and those of the world around us. 

During Covid there were times we had no choice but to scale things down and focus on the basics. This happened against the backdrop of humanity dealing with a global pandemic, so it might be difficult to see how it benefited us on a larger scale. What if we could separate the two and see how a more simplistic approach to turf maintenance could actually be the way forward? 

Think of the benefits in a holistic way. Less is not more, less is good. Less consumption (think more about supply chain reimagining instead of a brief interruption), less energy expended (especially from a superintendent and crew perspective) and a return to more realistic expectations. 

How might it look if we asked similar questions with regards to our own operations and processes?  Is this renovation work truly improving the course or are we just trying to keep up with the other courses on social media? Do we really need this latest piece of technology or are we just using it because we think we should because someone told us it would make our lives so much easier? Do we really need to work endless hours to uphold maintenance expectations that, if in some cases they simply disappeared, no one would even notice?  Why are we constantly adding to the system, when maybe subtraction is the better answer?

Do we really need this latest piece of technology or are we just using it because we think we should because someone told us it would make our lives so much easier?

Endless growth is not a natural concept. Nature finds a balance and seeks to maintain equilibrium. The slow burn of links land and their maintenance practices evolved over eons. In its purest form, greenkeeping flows with nature, rather than imposing itself upon the land. It seeks to use technology that is beneficial and supportive of this mindset, instead of using it just because it’s there for the taking. 

As I drove the links at Portmarnock, I was overcome with a sense of peace and the true essence of the game. It didn’t feel contrived, but that it belonged. The course didn’t jump out, rather blended with the landscape and its surroundings. As I listened to Gary speak of its history and their place in it, it felt sustainable and left me with a renewed inspiration for our own facility back on PEI. One that focuses on a sense of place, a sense of community, and above all a sense that everything we do should have a purpose and honour the land which holds us all in its embrace.

Thanks so much for reading.

For me personally, it’s been a quiet return to travel and speaking. In December I made the trip to Red Deer, Alberta to speak at a landscape conference and then more recently made the trip across the pond to speak at BTME in Harrogate. After the two year break it was simply wonderful to be back in front of a live audience. There is something to be said for the exchange of energy that occurs when you are in the same room as the people you are speaking to. 

I was curious as per how the conference season would unfold after the forced hiatus, so I made a point to record a few of my observations and reflections as we move to the end…

• People need People. This phrase coined by Tim Kreger of the Carolinas GCSAA, could not be more true. As we navigated the pandemic we all became quite aware of how much human connection is integral to our overall well being. A hearty handshake, a hug, a quiet conversation or even just being in the presence of those we care about has taken on a whole new meaning.
   
• The joy on the faces of the attendees was obvious. You didn’t have to be a social scientist to realize that folks were just simply happy to see each other again. They were also happy to be able to travel freely again. The energy on the trade show floors and in the seminar rooms was palpable. It was just really fun to watch people having fun.

  The joy on the faces of the attendees was obvious... folks were just simply happy to see each other again.

• On the flip side, it was also fairly obvious that folks are not back to 100% either. The pandemic has affected us all and to deny this reality would be a folly. I spoke with a great many people who are still navigating the after effects of the pandemic and they are dealing with the trauma the best way they know how. It’s vitally important to honor this fact and give people the space they require to return to things at their own pace.
   
• Mental health and all things connected to creating positive states of well being have never been more important. It seems that the powers that be within the various associations are starting to see the positive benefits of integrating mindfulness and self care education into our conference curriculums. This is a good thing. But there is still a very long way to go and I hope this trend continues to gather momentum.
   
• Perspective matters. The past three years have taught us a great deal. My sincere hope is that in our mad rush to get things back to a familiar state, we don’t forget the lessons the pandemic offered. Although it’s been great to get back to attending these events in person, we cannot forget that it’s a privilege that not everyone has access to.

We should take a moment to reflect on the cost of travel and the promise of virtual learning opportunities. Pre-pandemic our society got to a point where we simply took the ease of travel for granted. We need to take stock and realize that travel is a privilege and we must be grateful for it. 

We can also realize the opportunities that are contained within virtual learning. The ability to cater to different learning styles and reach folks that simply can’t afford to travel should not be overlooked.  I have participated in many virtual talks over the past few years and they were all well received.

My last reflection is simply one of gratitude. I was thankful for all of the opportunities and invitations to speak over the past year. It feels wonderful to continue to share the message of mindfulness and well being with so many of you. I’m also grateful to my family at home. Travelling and speaking can be hard work for the presenter, and also for those taking care of things at home. 

I’m also grateful to myself. In previous years my approach to travel was purely functional in many ways. I would get to the destination, do the gig and then return home. As I returned to traveling and speaking again this season, I made myself a promise; if I had the chance to do something interesting or fun I would follow through and take the risk. The pandemic made me realize how precious these opportunities are and I vowed to see more of the places I was traveling to. 

So I got to visit with a dear friend, Robin Sadler, in Canmore AB and see the world from the top of a mountain. I spent the day in Dublin, Ireland with our very own Jon Kiger and simply had a blast (and Guinness does in fact taste better in a small pub in Dublin). I wandered and wandered and wandered around Harrogate and even experienced a Turkish Bath with Frank Rossi!  And on my last day in the UK, I rode a train to York and spent most of the day wandering around the most magnificent church I had ever seen. York Minster was a marvel of architecture and history. 

So let’s be grateful for this conference season. Thankful for the chance to once again gather together to learn, share and network. Let’s be grateful for all the hard work that goes on behind the scenes to make these conferences and shows a reality. But most of all, let’s be thankful for the magic of connection, and the profound effect it has on us all. 

As I look back on what the last decade of personal reflection and writing has brought into my life, I am overwhelmed with gratitude. I’m so thankful for all the ups and downs, ins and outs, the good and the bad. It has all served a purpose in bringing me to where I am today.

When thinking about how best to treat the tenth anniversary post, I landed on this format. Little lessons and reflections on what it has meant to me and how it has shaped my life…

• A simple process works wonders. As a younger human, I never envisioned myself writing anything so when 15 years ago my wife Jill said to me, in her oft prophetic way, that she saw a future where we would write together for a wide golf audience, I wasn’t sure what to make of it. Curiously, I gave myself over to the journey and responded with openness when opportunity presented itself. I practiced writing and speaking like I practiced mindfulness; imperfectly but with kind inquisitiveness. In doing so, I discovered, like anything worth doing in one's life, it is the humble routine of practicing and showing up for oneself that makes all the difference. The act of being intentional and committing to process has enabled me to share the Mindful Super message with all of you. (The TurfNet website says 437,117 views…but I think there might be a few robots in there)
   
• Connections matter. This blog has allowed me to meet so many amazing people. Folks that would have been strangers, I now consider dear friends. I have had so many meaningful conversations as a result of this blog and made so many vital human connections that sometimes I cannot believe it is all real. The connections I have made through my role as the Mindful Super have fundamentally changed my life and this means so much to me.
  
  This point hit home even more over the past few years of pandemic living. Our in person connections have become so very precious. In the words of my good friend Tim Kreger (Carolinas GCSA and someone I’ve ironically never met in person) “People Need People.” In a climate emergency when we might consider reducing our carbon imprint from travel we have thankfully come to see that we can create meaningful experiences via alternate mediums such as zoom. It is the power of a heartfelt connection that truly matters.
   
• Taking time for reflection is vital. Writing this blog over the past 10 years has given a deeper purpose to my internal reflections. It has been a reminder to pause and consider choices and consequences of my actions. It hasn’t always been easy, and to be perfectly honest there has been more than one occasion that I thought about packing it in. Having this space to explore and give voice to my reflections has been incredibly valuable way of seeing where I am at with things. It has also been a great monthly touch point for consideration of how well I am living the message I speak about. The power of learning to apply kind, non-judgmental awareness to this journey has been its own reward.
   
• You just never know where things will lead. Staying open to possibility has allowed me to travel and develop a whole other side to this blog via speaking. It eventually led me to becoming an internationally certified mindfulness meditation teacher. Over the last half of the blog’s decade, I also became a General Manager/Superintendent at Fox Meadow. I never could have anticipated any of these realities ten years ago.
  
  The power of visualization and looking at the bigger picture can never be underestimated. So much of what has come my way via this blog existed within my mind’s eye for many years. Having the confidence, space and support to bring them forth has made all the difference.
   
• Unlearning is just as important as acquiring knowledge; maybe even more so. Over the past decade I have learned a great deal. When practicing a mindful approach to life, you tend to gain a lot of insight into yourself and the world around you. But you also learn to let go and unlearn a great deal as well. This process is incredibly liberating and provides access to greater ease in your daily living.
   
• Vulnerability is a superpower. Coming from me, this is quite a revelation (ask my family). Accessing the vulnerable parts of oneself can be a never ending practice…even a battle by times. But when you are able to let your guard down and show up, the people around you respond in kind. When they feel they have permission to share in your vulnerability, a deeper understanding emerges. You become better able to navigate those sometimes irksome similarities and differences between you and others in your life when you begin to notice your own sometimes irksome ways. Emotional blockades crumble and greater peace and equanimity is possible.
   
• Kindness and compassion are keys to unlocking your life. Every message, note, and quiet conversation after a speaking engagement revealed many deep truths over the years. None more important than the simple fact that we all suffer. Every single person you know is carrying a burden or trauma of some sort and it’s up to you to approach every interaction with immense of kindness and compassion. You never know when it will be your turn to share in this dance.
   
• Taking care of yourself is critical to your survival in this industry. Much like tending our turf, managing our equipment fleet or taking care of those folks who work with us each day, taking the time to develop healthy, self- care habits matters a lot. The tremendous stress of our jobs and that of everyday life can add up over time. Developing a management plan for your well- being could be one of the most important plans you ever implement.

This piece will close where it began, through gratitude. I have so very many people to thank and my heart just about bursts when I think of all of the support I have received over the years. Most of all, I want to thank all of you. All those who have taken the time to carve out a few spare moments to read what I have to say. To this day it still astounds me that anyone reads the blog, and for this reason alone I am incredibly thankful. 

There are a few folks in particular I would like to highlight. Out of the gate I want to thank Peter McCormick. He took the chance all those years ago to give me the space and the platform to explore what the Mindful Super might be. For this I am eternally grateful. To all of the fellow contributors on TurfNet, such as Dave Wilber and Randy Wilson, your support, wisdom and friendship have been invaluable. To Chris Tritabaugh (it took me 10 years to learn to spell his last name correctly) for being such a great friend, conversationalist and partner in crime. 

Then there is Frank Rossi. I remember back in the early days of TurfNet, reading and absorbing all of Frank’s writing. Little did I know that he would become a cherished mentor and dear friend. Frank’s ability to push me to explore new places and stay open to the possibilities has been life changing for me. Never underestimate having someone in your life who truly believes in you and can see your next success even before you do. 

Finally (and most importantly) I have to single out and express the deepest level of gratitude possible to my wife, Jill. She was the one who stuck by me since this whole thing began. It was no easy task, as we were going through an incredibly difficult time and emerging into something brand new. She has been there for almost every post. She is a gifted writer in her own right, and many of the words you have read over the years have been hers. She has lent a depth and perspective to this blog that I never could have accessed on my own. It hasn’t always been easy; admittedly I don’t always embody the ethos of the Mindful Super, yet she endures. There is no way I could ever repay her for giving me the space and support I need to be the Mindful Super. 

As I approach this milestone for the blog, I have also been asking myself…”what’s next?” The answer to this question is difficult to pin down. I can say with conviction that there is more to explore. What form that might take is still open ended. I have lots of ideas and projects in the queue… but where the path leads next is still anyone’s guess. 

Life is funny, isn’t it? Now I am back to where I began; imagining a future into being. The path remains open and flexible. With the middle way of mindfulness, the possibilities are endless. My heart is full and excited for what’s to come. 

Thanks so much for reading.